Shout out LOUD!!!

The promises...

2011-11-16T20:47:00.000-08:00

the irony of how things go around and come back as though they have been in a circle...you seemed to have taken the journey, but it just get you to the point of where you've started

before we started, i looked at your pictures, wonder how it feels to have you
and now we've ended... i look at the same pictures... still wondering how it feels, to have you, for just one last time

it's just pure torment, to know that you do not have the habit of updating your status, but the silly me still go to your page every other few minutes, hoping that you will update your status, oh well... that is really the best that i could ever get from you right now... since we could not talk like how we used to..

the thought that some one else may be lying beside you in the time to come, , which was where i used to be.. gives me shivers up my spine, just the image it self is enough to draw me to tears...

do not judge if you are reading, because you are not one of us. we had our times, both good and bad... as you see the shinny palace, it's not all made up of gold paint and shinny things... there were cement, stones and rocks and those things that you think that may not be pretty... it's a combination of both side of the spectrum to make a relationship a true and genuine one...

ok, maybe i just have to suck it up and accept the fact....

moving on is like eating bitter vege, it taste bad but it's good for you

i wish you all the best

Cameron Highland - I am Truly Vain

2011-11-06T23:30:00.000-08:00

this round, it's going to be something different, i am uploading pictures of my self! ahaha! how rare

i went to Cameron Highland and as usual, procrastinate till real late before we took off, hence arriving at a pathetic 4pm in the afternoon, wasted a good half day =)

we accommodated in Ye Olde Smoke House.. very nice place, perfect for taking picture =p which is the whole purpose of my trip is for..

the name of our suit

looks super awesome! very British feel! and the room is just soooooo comfy!

the the photo shoot session started! just going to preview a few pictures...

so called preparing! ahaha! candid shot but i found it quite nice..

cut me some slack! i know i may not look good, but i did the make up, hair and everything my self and my photographer is not exactly professional! =p

i like the me in the mirror! the real me looks weird.. oh well, wtheck

nice try of talking to the lamp!

i know! what a fat soul! yea! thank you! i know no photoshop and i am proud to say all these pictures are untouched!

that's basically my "wild" look... erm.. it was weird for me, but oh well, everything has it's first try... then moving on to a sweeter look of me... (i told you i am vain!)

erm... captions?

i like this really

this is nice too

sunshine!

the "rainbow" effect in between is natural! like i said, nothing was enhanced or any effects was added

just thought i look slim.. WHAT??!!

innocent? NOT! ahahaha

oh well, that is not just all the pictures i took, just the others may be not as pretty... =)

now you know how the owner of this blog looks like =p

some one to love...

2011-10-22T23:38:00.000-07:00

i always think that women, all of us.. should be treated like a princess by the one we chose. Ever since young we have to go through nasty shits like being treated like guys are more superior than us, they will inherit everything from the parents because they are born with hanging genital.. no offence to you - guys, but i am just saying the fact that women, are often treated as a liability because sooner after the parents paid everything (education, food...) and once these are clear, there wont be anything left... since she will be married to some one else...

puberty, wonderful period of time when your fucking breast grow and it hurts like mad when you accidentally knock on something, and the fucking best thing about boobs is, they do not fucking grow according to your desire size and as much as you wish that they are bigger, but if you are a A or B... you will be label as flat chest for the rest of your life and i do believe guys DO mind, depends whether more or less... then they will start talking about them... good on ya mate! and and, period! omg!! once a month, 6 days once and that is total disaster! for those who doesn't get period cramp, great! give your awesome uterus a pat on the Fallopian tube (since these tube look like the shoulder and usually people would say "give a pat on your shoulder")... but for those that will literally need to roll on the floor and look like a pale shit vampire for HOURS (no i am not fucking kidding!!)....P.I.T.Y!!! and not only that! shocking your self to wake up in the middle of some sweet dreams just because you felt something flow out and scared it may goes over its boundary... rush the the toilet... if everything is fine, good, get back to sleep, all it was was just INTERRUPTED sleep... but if seriously something were to really goes beyond its boundary! congratulations! you just won your self an awesome time with Dinamo or what ever detergent that you are using to wash pants and worst still! your bed sheet and need to fucking change the bed sheet in the middle of the night! GREAT!!!!!!! how fucking awesome right??!! and nah-ah.. this is not only for a year or two... it could fucking go on for 35 years or more!! some calculation to show the tension... girls spent 6.9 years bleeding!!!! (35 years x 12 months x 6 days)... OMFGosh!!!!!!!!!!!! go slap your fucking self if you are a guy who doesn't respect your mom (unless she did something really nasty!) or to even do not love and pamper your girl friend! seriously! what's wrong with you???!!

the list goes on... child birth, being call a fat =ugly if we grow in size... no one really cares about guys growing side way huh? menopause, sagging boob.... the list would go on and on...

if you are a female reader, i would love to tell you, girl! you are strong and you should be proud!!! ~ try listening to I am Woman by jordin sparks or who run the world by beyonce!

my point here, girls, you should be loved... but how? go find a guy who loves you more than anything else the world would mean to him, because you absolutely deserves it =D if the guy treats you not that good maybe you should re consider whether he still can cure or not...

girls, remember, you are always beautiful

i am different and i am happy for who I am

2011-10-14T05:05:00.000-07:00

this is a round round globe and a big big world...

we have all sorts of races, languages, cultures and upbringings!

value and perception of everyone varies, that is what make us unique!

what is wrong with being different? especially just because i am different from you?

what is wrong when you dare to stand up for what you think is right?

everyone one is different, why hate me when i dare to have my own ways of thinking? if you do not like what you see, you close your eyes and walk away, just like if you are an anti Justin.B person, and you saw a huge ass billboard of him, you know that you do not like him, you can just turn around and go, think of other happy things instead of having JB in your mind all the time tormenting you and wishing you have torn down the billboard but you cant!

i can be super bitchy if i want... but i learn to take a deep breath! chill! hurting back those who hurt me previously will not heal my wounds... but instead, i know how painful it is when the same injury was inflicted... i choose not to hate... like i said

the world is a big and nice place... i chose to be happy... just a tips, maybe you should channel your "dislike" towards me and start loving someone that really need you there.

an all over the place random updates for my 100th blog entries

2011-08-26T23:24:00.000-07:00

Wow OMG FML!!! WTF??? my last update was like a month ago, and if i do not start updating my blog you would probably think that i got strangle to death because apparently i seems to be pretty bitchy in my previous blog! aha!

Ok, first thing first:

i MADE a vow to my friends saying that i will stop vulgarity when i turn 21! but i don think i can do that, unless i got accepted into a CAREER which i am madly in love with then yes, i will be willing enough to change my die hard habit about the way i speak... Last time i thought it was such a big issue by using the word fuck, but as time passed and i genuinely think that i took the word too seriously! i mean, i know it's a really bad word, but i use it to kinda add on exaggeration into the things i wanna say or tell my friends, and i do not mean FUCK you in the sense of FUCK most of the time unless you seriously pissed me off damn bad.. lol! or else it's just another word for me to replace my all bored vocab of "very"... ok, thanks! now you are noted of this

Then:

i went to the gym! woohoo! did i lose any weight? maybe not but i did tone up at least, cause for the pass few months i wasn't truly serious about my work out enough, but i am planning to have a 3 months limit for my self =) since i bought a pair of roxy sunnies for my self (21st birthday present - first branded stuff ever) from a bunch of my friends and all i am lacking is a pair of BIKINI to rock the beach, but i have to wait till i got into shape, because i cant bare to see a big giant elephant trying to fit into a bikini...

erm erm, what else???

yea!~ i just came back from Bali! amazing place i tell you! i will update the pictures soon (wow, first picture blog ever in my site) it was quite nice honestly, love the place there, food is pretty nice, and especially the sea, o my, it's breath taking and not to mention you get to see hunky ang mos!! and the things there are relatively cheap and i felt like i am super there coz i can always bargain my way through!!

my second and last semester has begun, i am planning to ace it but fuck those lazy "maggots" i have in my body, i can't seems to start any where at all... no initiative to do anything la... fucking wish to slap the heck out of my self to wake up!

i cut my hair real short... FML! i wonder where the heck did i found the courage to do such crazy stuff... probably because long hair will cause more hair lost (my own theory) because when you have long hair, they tends to get tangle up pretty easily, when you comb them you tend to pull them off their roots if not entirely but sometimes slowly due to the force on a daily basis... and also, longer the hair, seems so hard to nourish (if and only if you are some what lazy like me) and hence i choose to cut my hair short and i think i look younger with short hair, dah la i ALWAYS looks older than i what i really am... so i guess it's a good change for healthier hair and younger looking

i really do not know how many readers do stop by at my blog anymore, but soon, i will be updated two blogs on trips - Bali and Melaka!! woots~

The post about freedom, the post for unity

2011-07-13T00:58:00.000-07:00

709.. where were you?

the day that the history was created, i was overwhelmed with fear, fearing that the chaos will bring uproar in the city centre which i am working in. my only hope was the police will be kind enough to assist in any form of fight if it happens.

days after, news on Facebook, post after post of how Malaysian felt about the heart throbbing incident, it open up my eyes to realize i was absolutely silly to think that our very own police men that our school teacher taught us to pay respect to, bullied those citizen that joined the rally without any intention of harm, regardless of their age, gender or race. The picture is being painted clearly, that the havoc is not caused by the protesters that came in peace, still having their sole intention of wanting a fair election, it was the guardian angel that we always perceived of, that put out fellow brothers and sisters into misery on that very day.

Isn't Malaysia a free country with freedom of speech? oh please, do not tell me that the things i studied in school is another crap! hah! ironic isn't it? how Malaysia politics is in such terrible disaster? perhaps they education minister should look into the syllabus, practice what you preach.

why is the government so offended with rally? it was just requesting for one simple thing, FAIR and CLEAN election. WHAT a shame!! a country that has been on it's own feet for more than half a century do not even get the idea of what election is, and an uproar of citizen is needed in order to bring the basic back into attention. this is a joke! people from all around the world, will then again, view Malaysia from dumb to dumber... hey PM, thanks a lot for this wonderful perception that you have set on Malaysia, now we're famous! for the wrong thing! *applause* and yea, Thanks Mr PM for mocking those who got attacked by tear gas without any apparent reason! it's stupid enough that you do now give us a reasonable explanation, and now you are laughing on your own people!

The tax payer diligently pay the tax, hoping that the government will put these money into good use, to build a better nation, for the future generation. but each and every time, we - the Malaysian, just got disappointed over and over again when we heard that how much and much was spent on reckless things that will do us no good. and how idiotic it is that the vehicles we purchase from our own sweat and blood, cost so much more! if you have watched transformer recently, you would have seen Carly with the freaking hot Merz that only cost 200,000.00 USD. forget about the damn convert, if you are working there, you earn the money there, and spend your money there, get what i mean? my say is, what can you get with RM 200,000.00 in Malaysia? maybe two of those doors... why? cause the tax has gone into the mouth of those governors that are waaaay to fat, but still sucking on the money of the citizens.

cut it short, i can't wait for election. the failure of the current leaders has clearly proven to us that it's time for a change, it's time to choose right and it's time to stand up. my moto - i do not know what may happened if the opposition takes over, changes might not be shown significantly, but the thing i know for sure, if the current government goes on into taking the lead.. we will just put our selves into deeper abyss which leads us to no end in suffering. i want a Malaysia that will improve and not only having the higher authority sucking dry of our resources, what Malaysia do YOU want..

it is seriously not that serious after all..

2011-05-28T21:31:00.000-07:00

disclaimer... this post has got nothing to do with me, i am just a third party who find what she is doing superbly hilarious and nonsensical..

"i feel no respect at all!" lol... can i ask, do you deserve to be respected? the way you say things and the way you communicate with people, if let say you do not get punch in your face with all your ugly placed fake lash dropping out, you should really start to count your blessings! which part of respect is a two way thing that you never come across with? lol! pls, do keep the secret of you are a graduate from psychology to your self, because it will be the joke of the century for people like you who spent 3 to 4 years studying about human behaviour and not understand such statement! or wait... did you major in "i am a freak that likes to control and demand!" and to those things that you are not deserving of.

do i have to ask permission from you if i need to go pee pee? pfft... kiddy! grow up la... don just grow physically (which i refers to gaining weight) but grow your mentality... stop acting like a 6 years old, you are 26... and sometimes, you may be referred to "auntie"... take that you bitch

i do not know how your work revolve, but as long as the information is being conveyed to the main person whom should be acknowledge of, i find the middle person's role could be quite redundant. but again, i am just seeing this as though i am watching a drama, i do not need to know exactly how you work, but by how you manage the situation is funny enough to firm up the point which i always hold on to... that is you are such an immature bitch! and yes, i mean bitch, B.I.T.C.H and i am calling you that... so what?

累

2011-05-18T21:26:00.000-07:00

你说你累了，闭上眼睛歇一下。。。
但你确忽略了我的感受，
有些事、有些话、有些感动是要在那一刻分享才有意思。

当我好想对你表达我的喜悦时，你对我说，你想早点休息。
那时的我有多么的难受与失望，你体会到吗?

一天只有24小时，你是如此，我也一样。。。
但为何我可以无时无刻伴你左右，再累也好我也会撑下去，只要你开心。
为何你就不能呢？为何我的到的只是你泼的冷水？

难道和我在一起真的让你那么累吗？
真实因操劳而疲倦还是对我的借口？

我只想简单快乐的走下去，但你的累也成了我的累与泪。
有时候，我真的真的不想再牵着你走了。。。
也许一个人的天空会比较自由，没有希望就没有失望。
你和我，也不会再累了。。。
你说，这样好吗？

how depressing~

2011-04-29T07:14:00.000-07:00

this is suppose to be a happy blog talking about how glad i am to have finish my exams and finally i can put all things behind and start to enjoy but i don feel the kind of joy that i should be feeling all thanks to something that we truly love - A.S.S.I.G.N.M.E.N.T.S and so you know what is the best part? it's an unknown assignment where not much of clear explanation was given by the lecturer and we have to proceed like a mad cow without direction. thanks a lot!

and i am so stress out to juggle with FULL TIME WORK AND FULL TIME STUDY.... this is not at all easy and it is killing me! i felt like my life has been taken away.... ok, maybe until the day that i submitted by assignment - 16/5/2011 you will see me blogging happily =/ maybe just maybe....

and i want a constant shift =( how sad

i know my dear readers, i shouldn't be sulking about life is unfair and try to do something on it, any suggestion?

all i have in mind are....

stop being a nanny, perhaps that could buy me more time

stop facebooking in office &#)!$)($@#* fuck you facebook! i am at the brink of forcing my self to delete my account and YES! it is THIS depressing~

start living *with wishful thinking big eyes* yes i know i am suppose to live my life.... not to get tied down by it... but when? when can i just leave all my worries behind and take a brave step forward... live a life without needing to take care of other's affair..

i truly wish to take off to somewhere else... where i can hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil... be a little bit more self centered... wont hurt anyone right? i just want to live life on my own... care only for my self, for just a year or two... love my self, be my self, enjoy my self.

maybe... just maybe... i already know where i should be heading to, but i need the determination to work towards it and that is a lot of hard work... it is squeezing me dry ='( i have been living like this long enough... i just want to break free... maybe i should just tell my self, stand up straight my dear! you can do it! pull it through for another eight more months and i am free to live my dream...

wish me luck and fingers cross... hopefully 2012 is not the end of the world =)

p/s: sorry, no picture again.. boring blog yes.... next up maybe i can upload video =p let's just wait n see

thanks for listening and it does ease my burden a bit =)

Bitch Slap

2011-04-04T02:43:00.000-07:00

hans't been doing this a loong looooong while till some one pisses me off badly enough... it stir up those high school rivalry emotions in me again~!

firstly, i would like to bitch slap this ass hole like how ronald mcdonald would!

cause she fucking deserves it!

anyone of you who is reading this may know her... you could choose to leave now and i wont stop you... because you may feel offended... the exit button is just at the right corner.. help your self and.. thank you come again!

i do not know what her problem is, only childish people judge the books by its cover. so yea bitch, don come judging me when you do not even know a single thing about me =D you may say ... "ruby, you do not know her either right?" ... but hey i tried to approach her, talk to her but she was always with that kind of "i am too expensive to talk with you... get lost..." sort of a bitchy look... lick my toe if u may... you are not my mother and why should i give you my respect when u do not even earn it? as the thoughts flow on and on, it just makes me feel that you are so super kiddy... respect is two way... if you want me to respect you (which is did for a short while) then you should learn to respect others as well...

and it's pretty much NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS of the love life between me and my boy right? so who do you think you are that could always maneuver other's life and give instruction? other than the cruel fact that you OLDER than us, i do not see any where close at all that you have the authority of stop us from doing what we want to do. so what if he has love bites on his neck? you and your man do not do it or may view it as wrong doesn't mean that others cannot do it... so yea.. pack up your bimbo attitude and grow up instead of grow butt, fat ass!

so what if you studied psychology?? tons of people did!! nothing glamorous about it if you do not put it into full use! and even you your self is not portraying an approachable image to others, i wonder how the hell are you going to comfort and convince others... just because you studied the theory of how other's mind might work that doesn't mean you know EVERYTHING. so stop being so self acknowledge, if you that so damn good.. land your self a psychology related Job field instead of hugging your coffee everyday!

i do not want to confront you is because my boy is working in the same office as you are... there is no point of making it ugly cause by the end of the day... my dear is the one who's gonna get stuck in the middle...

but for clarification sake...

i am no longer your colleague, we do not work under the same company... even when i was.. i do not work under you...

i am a customer to the company that you are working for which indirectly makes me your "boss"....

this is my blog and i can say what ever i want! i do not have to be afraid to rent my frustration out just like how i can't stop you from bad mouthing me at my back... i just took another approach... i spit it IN YOUR FACE... i say it out loud and yea.. i am frank to my self and to the people around me... i am not like you... you pretentious two face bitch...

so yea... take that Ms Koh! it would be so mean if i put ur first name in, you might cry just like a cry baby.... and i think you've you might have been pronouncing your first name wrongly for the past 26 years... i am sooo happy for you, i am! truly!

p/s: you may delete my profile.. but the fact that i am hotter than you and you are jealous of me would never go away... suck it up BITCH!

Time FLIES!

2011-04-02T06:55:00.000-07:00

as we know, a duh fact that we only have 24 hours a day and fair enough, we usually divide it into 3 parts... and each part is 8 hours...

8 hours of sleep so that you can move on with the rest of your time... looking it from the investor's point of view, it is pretty worth while, you can putting in 8 hours to exchange for an energize 16 hours which is twice as much... i cant help it but to think that sleeping is also waste of my time esp when i have tons of stuff piling up and it is walling out my name to get it done with... seriously... the very first question that pops into my mind is... how fucking awesome if we could just don't have to sleep at all....

my attempt fail when my dark circles and eye bags pop out like a bulging goldfish.... in black since it's dark circle... *%#)$^@)_*^$&*^#

second part of the 8 hours goes to work if you are a school leaver or if you are still studying, you would most probably spend it in school... we all need to survive, to learn and to have real social life

hah! do not even think that we still have the last part of 8 hours to our self, that is not happening unless you have the ability to teleport! you need to travel around places and get stuck in the jam early in the morning... squeeze with all the people in the train or bus to get to work, looking for car park and seriously... travelling around is a bitch... let's be fair and take one hour off for a single journey... two hours' down...

not to mention about cleanliness, you need shower, half an hour per session including undress and getting dress all those shits, brush teeth la wash face la... one hour is down... 5 more left... and if you're a female, congrats! one more hour is dead cause you need to either blow dry your hair, put some make up, choose what clothes to wear

cut me some slack! i need to eat ok... maybe give me about 2 hours for 3 meals?! that's damn loose d lo... u need to make up your mind of what to eat, then wait for the food and start chewing... i think 2 hours for 3 meals is freaking reasonable... not to mention if you need to walk to get food or worst! cook!!! hahahaha! so can i conclude that it takes 3 hours for 3 meals?

2 more hours left... watch a show for one hour a day is consider damn good d lo for you to laze around... not asking for more right? ladies.. you could probably say bye bye to your day coz ur 24 hours is down.. for males! congrats! you still one hour to watch some porn or perhaps... masturbate or be on facebook to hit on some chics...

soooooooo..........

it's fucking unfair lo life!!!!!!!!!!! o0o

where the hell am i going to find time to exercise on a daily basis? other than rushing around to fit right into the tight schedule...

where to find time to relax with a book in hand and a cup of tea beside you?

ok.. you may say weekend la... but people whom need to work and study at the same time.. are you calling them to bang them selves into the wall and just die already?

damn!

ok.... the difference between successful people and loser is... one find a solution to solve the problem whereas the other sulk about it

i am not an idiot of that way

so.... i want to read more or even revise my studies~ hence i am making it a point to

BAN my self from Facebooking during my work hours cause it looks not professional and it is fucking FUCKING time consuming lo! if looking at other's status makes me richer i don mind

stop wasting my travelling time on wondering around or checking out on what size of bra the that hot chic is wearing... time to flip those "pages" on my phone with news or article since my phone is smart and it has Internet access all the time =)

sacrifice one hour of my sleep to make it 7! hahahahahaha! then i can do my fav things like... waking up early for a jog... listening to music while doing my facial... play my guitar... do some house chores even though it is not my fav things

and talk less on the phone for i may not only waste time, i would die faster due to radiation

in a NUTSHELL!!

don be freaking obsess about the break down of time because for sure it will drives you nuts! in order to manage your time wisely is not about allocating hours to do this and that... it is about knowing what is the right thing to be done on the right time and dicthing those habits that will eat your time!

that's my "brilliant" idea on time management...

p/s: this is more like a convincing post to urge my self to study and also to update my dead blog.. *revive!!!*

this is going to be HILLARIOUS! ha!

2011-03-18T20:13:00.001-07:00

firstly.. this blog entry is about Rebecca Black

i don think she is hot

and i think her song is OMG sort of a funny

cant stop lauaghing at it for serious matter

IF you have just 10 mins to go through this with me,

i shal grant you laughter and i promise you big time on that!

this is the vidoe and below of it is the lyrics...

watch it first and i will tell you how fucking funny it is!

7am, waking up in the morning

Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs

Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal

Seein’ everything, the time is goin’

Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’

Gotta get down to the bus stop

Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)

(who the fuck wants to know your details in the morning? maybe you missed the part where you floss your teeth and found chicken meat from yesterday.. or maybe forgot to flush the toilet of change your underwear?? oh well, just a thought)

Kickin’ in the front seat

Sittin’ in the back seat

Gotta make my mind up

Which seat can I take?

(fuck off! i thought u r catching a bus n why on earth is your frens fetching you with a convertable which looks like u guys are not even legal to drive the car? n does it matter where to sit? maybe the bonnet??)

It’s Friday, Friday

Gotta get down on Friday

Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend

Friday, Friday

Gettin’ down on Friday

Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)

Fun, fun, fun, fun

Lookin’ forward to the weekend

(hate repeatation... did you ever heard taylor swift sings "love love love love story story story story"?? AND the way u pronouce friday sounds like fried egg...)

[Rebecca Black - Verse 2]

7:45, we’re drivin’ on the highway

Cruisin’ so fast, I want time to fly

Fun, fun, think about fun

You know what it is

I got this, you got this

My friend is by my right

I got this, you got this

Now you know it

(fyi, ur frens look fugly to be on MTV... do they appear so that you may look better? er... the contrast effect they call it?)

Kickin’ in the front seat

Sittin’ in the back seat

Gotta make my mind up

Which seat can I take?

[Chorus]

It’s Friday, Friday

Gotta get down on Friday

Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend

Friday, Friday

Gettin’ down on Friday

Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)

Fun, fun, fun, fun

Lookin’ forward to the weekend

[Bridge]

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday

Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)

We-we-we so excited

We so excited

We gonna have a ball today

Tomorrow is Saturday

And Sunday comes after...wards

I don’t want this weekend to end

(THIS IS NOT A KINDERGARDEN SONG FOR FUCK'S SAKE! we do not need you to tell us which day comes before and which comes after!)

[Rap Verse]

R-B, Rebecca Black

So chillin’ in the front seat (In the front seat)

In the back seat (In the back seat)

I’m drivin’, cruisin’ (Yeah, yeah)

Fast lanes, switchin’ lanes

Wit’ a car up on my side (Woo!)

(C’mon) Passin’ by is a school bus in front of me

Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream

Check my time, it’s Friday, it’s a weekend

We gonna have fun, c’mon, c’mon, y’all

[Chorus]

It’s Friday, Friday

Gotta get down on Friday

Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend

Friday, Friday

Gettin’ down on Friday

Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)

Fun, fun, fun, fun

Lookin’ forward to the weekend

It’s Friday, Friday

Gotta get down on Friday

Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend

Friday, Friday

Gettin’ down on Friday

Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)

Fun, fun, fun, fun

Lookin’ forward to the weekend

finally the miserable video has ended!

boo ya rebecca! really.... i fell ashame to have the same initial as you!

p/s: her voice is terrible! sounds so damn forceful lo pls.... PLS!!!!!!!

11th day of the 1st month

2011-03-13T23:21:00.000-07:00

in conjunction of White's Day (which is white valentine) i will like to post this blog to the special some one <3

Can I say that

i love the way you smile,

i love the way you make silly jokes,

i love the way you made me laugh so hard,

i love the way cuddle me,

i love the way you hug me so tight,

i love the way you call me

i love the way you say you love me

Can I say that

i treasure the every first experience you gave me

i treasure the advice you told me

i treasure the effort you made to come and see me

i treasure the way you tolerate with me when i am being unreasonable

i treasure the way you encourage me when i stumble

i treasure the walk we have under the moonlight

i treasure each and every kiss you gave me, and i crave for it all the time =p

Can I say that

i care when you are not getting enough rest

i care when you are not eating on time

i care when you are unhappy due to work

i care when you are stress up

i care when you say nothing and the silence hurt

i care when you eat too much of supper =p

i care, about basically everything that is about you

Can I say that

i am looking forward for more good times of ours

i am looking forward for more sweet memories to be created

i am looking forward for more exciting experience to be filled up

i am looking forward for knowing the both of us more

i am looking forward for more tears to be shed for in a relationship it is not only about the good

i am looking forward for more knowledge to be gain from the things surrounding us

i am looking forward for more understanding to be discovered each day

Can I say that

i am sorry if i am being too demanding at time

i am sorry for not seeing things from your view

i am sorry for throwing tantrums at you

i am sorry for not listening

but...

i am also sorry for being a little bit upset when i cant see you coz i care

i am also sorry for being paranoid about you when you do not update me coz i care

i am also sorry for giving you advice that may not go in the alignment of your plan coz i care

i am also sorry for wanting to be part of your plan cause i want to go far with you coz i care

i am also sorry for making you worried about me when i am not talking coz i care

i am also sorry making you listen to my long winded story coz i care

i am also sorry for falling so deeply in love with you, so uncontrollably.. coz i truly love you

thank you baby for making everyday so wonderful for me

the joy and laughter you brought to my life was simply amazing

hoping that we can have more and more moment spend together

wishing that we could embark on the journey ahead hand in hand

understanding each other more and communicate better each and every day!

dear dear i love you!

BURLESQUE

2011-03-11T22:59:00.000-08:00

"how do you pronounce it?" < this is my first question when i was captivated by the awesome poster of Christina Aguilera with cher and i knew it that very instance i have got to watch this movie

by the way it is pronounce as bur-lax

The cast was pretty cool.. we have Christina as Ali, then Cher as Taz ( i always think that he looks like a man ) and OMG! James (Can) from twilght! yes, the hunk as Jack XD thumbs up!

the good stuff about this movie

it is very muscial, full of freaking awesome dance moves. you got long legs, firm round butt and most importantly, boobs! the music was pretty thrilling and when ever Christina sang, it gives me the goose bums!

and it's damn freaking hot and sexy! thank GOD i din bring my boy friend to watch this movie or else i will felt so inferior! lol!

the bad stuff?

i skip the whole part where Cher sang.. i told you she looks like a guy... she sounded like one too.. so o ya... pls keep it away

the climax!

the club was about to shut and Christina came and safe the day!

and a slut call Nikki pulled off the wire when Christina was putting on a show which she was suppose to mimic. but with this Threat Ali (Christina) turns it into a live singing which makes her famous~! (we all know the trick don we??? =.=)

most amazing part is

CAN YOU FREAKINGLY BELIEVE THAT CHRISTINA ARGUILERA IS A MOTHER!!!!!!! you've got to look at the her bod man, serious big time killer

why you may ask they arre being compared when they first came in..

i always like Britney better but untill....

they were both from Disney, and Britney is popular because she played the innocent card and then she figured out it didn't work then she played the sexy card. then she went on to spoil her vocal by screaming too much at her husbandSSSSS i guess.. or even her self into the mirror saying "why the fuck am i so stupid?! now i got kids that i am not even sure who their father is, or worst! i do not even know how they came about! i just had sex, mom didn't tell me having sex could have babies!!"...

so she went on and ruined her life, showing that she is not wearing panties when she goes clubbing... perhaps this is why she got pregnant... it was an easy entrant for the guys in the club and maybe she is too drunk or used too much drugs that she doens't even realized! ha~!

most importantly... she FUCKING CANT SING and... she is fat =.=

so ya... this is my post about BURLESQUE and BRITNEY... peace out for the Bs...

BREAST!

2011-03-04T19:08:00.000-08:00

YES! you see it right! it's all about breast, boobies, tits, mimi, what ever you used to call them

as i quote from wiki, breast is define as the upper ventral region of the torso of a primate, in left and right sides, which in a female contains the mammary gland that secretes milk used to feed infants.

and to make my point clearer.. picture speaks a thousand words.. let me show you some breast, but of course, not mine

description is drawn out just so if you do not know what the F u were sucking on the other night

OK! condemn me all you want you dirty minded people! this is not what you think of as a porn post on my blog! harlo! everyone has breast, yes... including those male that are reading this post right now.. it's just that it doesn't grow, doesn't requires you to wear a bra to support it and most import of all... it doesn't lactate

moving on... what is point of this post?

yes... it's about how people perceive what girls SHOULD BE having and if they don't they are a turn off...

what i can say is... FUCK YOU YOU AND YOU for being so shallow =D

what's wrong with the society now a days only stating that girls with big boobs are hot and girls that are flat chested could just hide in the closet? what? flat chest not woman is it? flat chest not human a? sick people.... and worst of all sick obsession!

could you please just list out the main PURPOSE of these pair of meat? it is suppose to be functioning as a source of nutrients and FOOD for babies! these pair of breast that you mistakenly take it as a sex imagination trigger is actually the origin of all man kind! mother = babies... mother no breast from last time long long ago (impossible) = fucking no existence of human! tadaa!! solve the whole evolution shit over here *i am so brilliant*

can you people get over it? it's just meat for heaven' sake! like the meat on your fat beer tummy, the meat on your large flabby arm and yea! it's just meat! like below

yes... this is chicken meat... more precisely, chicken breast... so are you turned on now? ..|..

stop sending out the wrong signals and give all the female in the world a BREAK! stop setting the standard that only C cups and above is consider breast... top it all with cleavage would be even better... what now? anything below C is chest not breast la is it? KNN at top most frustration

just because of what you perceive to be FEMININE, you made the ladies around the world go crazy... that's where plastic surgeon got their implants order increasing daily... more Fuckup CUP COOKIES and nonsense breast enhancement supplement that cost fortune but did nothing. so yea big clap for the stereotypes of making the breast supplements industry a success *max sarcasm*

so yea, i guess we should strongly support on growing BRAIN supplements for those who think big boobs are vital instead of those poor victims that need to spend hundreds and thousands on that pair of meat which is meant for a larger fate!

i am sending a hate message to those fuck up guys who dump their girl friend because the girl don have a C when they gave you their heart. look beyond the mere FRONT picture of her torso and look within... her heart..

and i am proud to tell... yes i am not a C cup! so what? it spare me to have to worry about sagging boobs when i am older, and i could exercise and jog without needing to worry about gravity pulling my sister down south. NO i am not saying this because i am jealous.

p/s: if you still cant get your head of breast... maybe you should support breast cancer awareness instead... make your obsession into some beneficial for the society and turn the negative thoughts into a positive act

cleavage and the pink ribbon!

all about love... at least for me

2011-02-27T09:25:00.000-08:00

firstly, this is going to be a long winded blog full of words... if you are looking for pictures and all to check out on... sorry, i am more towards a person whom choose to express my self with words... not pictures... not so visualize =/

ok.. love is a big huge wide enormous context... nothing in specific would be able to describe it. but oh well.. look at the title above, i said "at least for me"

there could be loads of love... love for chocolate... love for your favorite singer, love for your new dress, love for your pets at home, love for you parents, love for your.... partner =) each and every single one of these gives a different sensation, and of course, will need a different input as well... not everything goes under the same concept of passing motion ok... what EVER hell you eat you will still have the same thing - shit... brrr =.=

all i wanted to say here is.. FOR ME... love is about being absolutely transparent... only with honestly trust can be build.. and only with trust as a foundation... faith would appear... isn't faith and trust the same? no! faith is where you do not see it but still believe it with you life! and tadaa!!! the essence of love is faith... why? because distance and time doesn't seems to matter anymore... you and me could be 5000 miles away, but as long as we have each other in heart, the distance will eventually vanish! *pooof*

faith is where it pushes you through hard times like doubt... when you start to doubt whether the choice you made was a right one... the person you chose to be with will he cheat you or bla bla bla... faith comes into the picture... and with faith, all seems to be at peace and no argument is needed!

faith also brings commitment.. i look back and wonder what held me through a 3 years plus relationship... it was commitment.. it is the kind of feeling where no matter what happened, you will still choose to hold his hand and go through the thick and thins.. even sometimes it means sacrificing in mass in order to prove your commitment....what is commitment? it is easy.... it is just a thought.. and a thought could happen in a split of a second! amazing how such short thought could be life altering.

faith is not easy to be obtained... it's not like those cheap crap that you you can get anywhere and anytime. faith is when one truly sees that she has an important role in your life... not just some cheap ass back up when you are bored... nor some sex toy when you are horny...you look at her as though she is your up most priority, you do not suit her in your busy time table... you suit your busy time table according to her! and you may also think about what ever you are doing for her sake! not to say demanding freak or what, but this is love! this is commitment, not some DOTA game that you could just leave game when you know you are losing... this is long term! and if you do not see a future with her, then why walk the distance now? and if you see your future with her, aren't you suppose to plan YOUR future with her as part of the consideration? such wise say =) [proud of self]

love is not a game....because listen up yo kid... you do not have what it takes to play love... it is much more dangerous to play love than to play fire... so watch out!

as for a special massage for a special some one... check your facebook inbox!

adios people... hope this love love thing do not drown you in confusion!

make love not war! i mean not literally make love as in making love.. it means, make love happens.. oh shit... it sounds even worst right now =p judge it your self then you peeps!

love ya'll!

frustration... on love

2011-02-16T21:27:00.000-08:00

i am so lost at this moment...
i wish some one will really listen to me instead of just hearing me out
such a big big world out there... i wonder how and where am i going to be able to find my shelter
i am not asking for more... just a heart to heart conversation, cause that is what i need the most right now

the beginning of a relationship should be blissful... joy should always surround each other
ranging hormone will makes you feel so lovey dovey that you would almost forget what is around you
those sweet sensation just makes you dwell into the river of love, and your only prayer would be being able to stay in it as long as possible...

it takes more than just "i love you" to be in a relationship
i dare not say that i am a professional in discussing about relationship issues
as i always say :" there is no user manual to be in love.. each relationship encompasses different chemistry from different people, every relationship is a very own, unique entity..."
yes... there is not definate way of being in love....

to elaborate more on the statement above... let us use an example of Valentine's day
how many of us know the story behind such event being celebreted by million of couples yearly...
and is it a MUST to give flowers on V day?
i personally think it is a waste of money to buy something that will wilt on a so called "lover's day"
mind you... i did mentioned this is my personal point of view...
because for me i think... showing appreciation to your loved ones is done on a daily basis...
not being able to compared or portray through a bunch of material things

if you love the right person... whole heartedly... i believe every day for the both of you... is Valentine's day

after running around the bush for so long... what am i trying to say?
i am not sure of the person that i love right now...
i feel ashame of telling such thing... cause you may think i am a pathetic fool for love... yes i am...
i felt like i have gave him everything... a very true and genuine side of me, being beyond a hundred percent transparent and honest with him... but i kept getting the feeling that he is not doing the same back in return...
it felts like my heart is going to be ripped apart... it is like you gave up the thing that seems to be the most precious in your life to someone... who do not see value in it...

am i thinking too much? i am too naive? did i fall in love too soon too fast?
i wish i have the answer to my questions....

how much i hate uncertainties

2011-02-07T08:05:00.000-08:00

i hate it when it is unplanned... i really do not like it when situation just hit the blind spot.. i am super not comfortable with not being able to foresee the future =.= i fucking hate it when i do not know what is install for me the fucking next day

i hate it when it is too rush... fuck my life and i fucking mean it.. i am in a bad mood right now.. i hate to doubt my self i hate to turn back n check each n every bloody time just to make sure things are according to the plan... it just pissed me off so badly! why do i have to be situation like this as though that my left hand is battling with my right hand! i do not want to be the devil and angel all at the same time! i will get so confused and i will turn to become a fucked up maniac!

i hate my self to round it all up can? to make decision without thinking... shit tart.. i better start using my brain to make decisions instead of following my heart... shits my life up till the top max like crap! argh!!!!!!!!

i was once your...

2011-02-04T23:27:00.000-08:00

wheelchair...

be it inappropriate, but i am not even your walking aid, i basically wheel you through the 3 years... spoon fed and all sorts.. yes, i drown my self in it... i was nothing but a mopping zombie doing the same thing over and over again... maybe this was for the good of all, that you could finally stand up on your own feet and i can finally break lose

story book...

you find it hard to listen when ever i am trying to reason with you... or at least let you understand the moral of the story, hence i will have to translate the whole lesson into a more understandable term for you. sometimes i my self find it amusing of how well of a story teller i could be... but no offence.. i think it has fell into the deaf's ear

charity sources...

time after time.. chances after chances... and i am not joking... read my lips! NOT JOKING! i absolutely lost count of how many opportunities i have given you.. not to put salt on the wound.. but do you know how suffering it is for me? each time it stings and i literally feels like my heart is tearing apart =( this is real! and sometimes i feel like i can no longer take it is anymore but still have to shove it down in my throat.. because i have to... wtf

but then again... hurting you was never my intention.. i hope you can understand that i am really tired and i can barely breathe.. i ~~l.o.s.t~~ my self.. totally... i was hurt as well when it has to come to an end... but prolonging it doesn't help to solve the problem.. it is not healthy, the both YOU and ME. coming clean.. i treasure the time we spent.. it will always be a good memory for me... you too take care... move on as you can...

first for everything

2011-02-02T19:23:00.000-08:00

first time jogging after a twilight =D
it was since soooooooo long that i wanted to jog during night time!
night breeze was awesome and not to mention that sun is not going to burn your face as you jog =p
everything look so calm and peaceful
jogging under the street lights and the ripple on the lake makes me feel so...relax
and i did not jog for very VERY long time, but still manage to keep up a good pace
i am really glad cause i did not expected that
it was also good in another way that i can finally release my stress
jogging always has that effect on me, channeling the intensity out of my body
quote from shrek: "it's better out than in"

first chinese new year's eve spent outside
the usual norms was to spend it with family before mom left
then after she is gone our family usually go separate ways
brothers will be going back to their own respective wifie's house
dad is either going to meet his mom then his girl (or aunty i should use? girl is not that appropriate isn't it =p)
then i will be home alone munching on the new year cookies
watching some show which i have most probably watched before (no no, i do not have astro if u r asking)
but this time round i am out! wee hee! so yea! it was amazing

first time seated on couple seat (which was not rightfully purchased.. LOL!)
always always wanted to have couple seat
shut your mouth if you are opening it wide in questions
YES! never been on a couple seat after 3 years and 2 months being in a relationship
do not blame that guy, we never really watch any movies anyways
er... less than 10 i would have to admit =p
originally we bought tickets for normal seating.. but since it's a new year movies, unexpectedly there were a lot of people
but what i did not expect was.... THERE WERE SO MANY KIDS
i ask him :"aren't those kids suppose to be sleeping? it's a midnight movie!" LOL!!
then we decide to shift our seating since the couple seats was empty behind
for the sake of fun.. since there we so many kids beside us =p
so it was fun =)

thanks for so many first time

serenity

2011-02-01T09:28:00.000-08:00

I hope you know, I hope you know

That this has nothing to do with you

It's personal, myself and I

We've got some straightenin' out to do

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket

But I've got to get a move on with my life

It's time to be a big girl now

And big girls don't cry

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry

it's been so long ever since the last time i felt peace

all i could recall was.. rushing my life through

surviving

i forgot one very important thing

i lost sense of my self

i forgot to live

the past three years has been amazing

but i could hardly recall what have we done

maybe it is because my bad memory

maybe it was shallow

maybe... i do not know

life for me was like a bullet train

but the only difference

it was without a stop

a rest station

nothing....

looking back, i never really took a break

everything was too fast, too soon

the scenery maybe be captivating

but i did not stop and stare

i missed out a lot

felt terrible for wasting life

but i have chose to stop sulking

pick up the pieces

put it back together

live the moment

it is hard i have to admit

because i totally lost my instinct

but i am not giving up without a try

take a deep breath and feel...

love my self <3 before i love again

stone age internet

2011-01-30T09:32:00.000-08:00

it takes forever to load a bloody video.. damn it damn it damn it

it is so slow when it is fetching news feed on facebook... loading a a short vidoe will take mins and this is driving me nuts... interested to know which sucky provider? PI Wimax~ ~~(cant put the real name coz i dunno will get sued for booing them in such a mean mean way.. self protection n damn kiasi)~~

i have been calling in to complain about the shitty service for quite some time.. trust me i have tried both nice and angry version to have my line terminated... yesh yesh.. i admite.. i am a bit too kiasu coz i don want to be paying the 199 contract termination fees before it's due date.. so yea, tried my luck but each and everytime got pushed a way to say "no no miss, we do not have the authority to assist you in this and our higher authority in the customer care wouldn't be able to help out as well...." fuck you! customer care? seems like you DONT care at all lo....

i know i sign a stupid contract... but hey, be reasonable a bit can or not? the line is always RED in colour (means damn bad and slow reception) or if luck choose to fart in your face that day, you wont even be able to connect =.=... yea i know... it is FUBAR.... but what can i do? stick to it lo... pay the price for not being able to enjoy the service lo... fuck you lo.. can? damn suffering i tell you....they will always tell you restart your modem all those nonsense crap and that is not in my best interest as a customer to do all these ridiculous act la wei.... you guys need to go back to school to study business and UNDERSTAND services marketing =/

ok, frustration is out from my belly... do leave a comment to let me know how to get out of the contract with the dealer before it ends... much appreciated... seriously...

night world... dosing off to my sweet cozy bed

it's going to be fantabulous!

2011-01-25T07:51:00.000-08:00

i am going to yap so much and the list is going to be on and on and on ... kekeke

first and foremost, happy new year! i know i am like 25 days late from the "actual" new year where all the hype is suppose to be passing around for each and everyone.. but hey, it's still January, better late than never..

since it's a new year of coz it comes with tons of new year wishes... but i guess this time round my wishes is going to be more achievable because now i got more time ( pls refer to the text below to know why i got more time)

FIRST on the list is i wanna get an adobe Photoshop software and master the skills to use it! ok! i know! it's faking the pictures but be real peeps, it's the cyber world.. the only place where you can escape from the ugly reality =/

SECONDLY i am so so so into getting a camera preferably a LUMIX LX5 so that i can take nice pictures of places and my self =p shits vain i am.. i know... shush! and i mean now i have the chance to enjoy life, i should captured down every moment and start to discover the artistic side of my self =D give my self even better and more more more reasons to camwhore!

THIRD i wanna get a guitar! good quality one and i wanna be like my most inspired singer ms Taylor Swift... sorry i do not have blonde hair, the pixie face and the perfect brain for music... but sometimes, singing and playing makes you feel so so comfy and you feel like... hey i am good in this... and it will eventually boost up your happy genes as they start to dance along with the music =D

ok maybe 3 is enough.. if i could get all of the above, i will make sure 2011 is marked as one of the most successful year of my life =D what a big talk when i am only 21... yea, you heard me right, 21! ok ok, the independent age it is.. but i am getting all those chic phobia of getting paranoid with number... wtf

done with the new year... i would like to elaborate more on my job, both old and new.. i know i have mentioned it in the previous post.. but it was not pretty clear... hence let me help you to paint the bigger picture of it....

the old job - it is known as Salmat, a place where i worked for 20 odd months... it was fun due to the people... and sometimes fucking interesting due to those calls that came in and we will laugh out heads off to hear about mankind's stupidity ( i know i may not be any good... =p )... it was overall an awesome place but is handled by some stupid idiotic management that caused her own company bankruptcy! *claps* serve her right we all say.. but a lot of us lost out job and we are now scattered around... it's gonna be hard for us to meet up again like how we used to every other weekend... so yea, that's the sad part

the new job - i was not used to it at the beginning.. some dilemma going through in regards of ethnics and all.. fuck those crap that i studied in business text book...but later on i found the interesting part of the work and i getting along with it... colleague are a bunch of awesome people.. helped me a lot and i also realized that i gained more than money as i work in there. proud to be part of SEGi K.L and i am really glad to have found this job... i am very sure it will enrich my life in a lot of ways =D

the cat is out of the bag... yes... the broke up was real and i just can say it's for the good of both justin n me.. thanks for your concern, we both are still very good buddy... just that we realized we need space and sticking with each other will not lead up anywhere.. so we call it off =/

after the separation i found out that there are more to life than the both of us.. i once regain the kind of joy that i have lost foe 3 years plus.. getting really happy about one small tiny silly thing....

now i finally got the time to read a book, take a rest or just relax n rest in my own world.. listening to some jazzy songs... learning to play the guitar.. and when it is busy, i have the force to push it all out and go for it... so i think it is a good path heading hopefully to the right direction =D

now here you go... one of my camwhore picture as i speak.... adios! see u when i see u

now u see non photoshop picture... very soon u will find out that they no longer appears in my blog =p

O.M.G ! ! !

2011-01-22T06:25:00.000-08:00

ok.. i realized the very last time i updated my blog was October 3rd, and it's been like 4 months since the previous one, but i am pretty sure no one will even notice, since there is no one who is reading my blog.. kakakaka

anyways, quite a lot of things happened in the past few months

sum it up...

1. changed my job:
the company basically closed down, in fact i was being pretty happy deep within, serve you right BITCH! you have treated your employees like crap now u lost company, so yea, thank you very nice

but i miss my colleague

working for my college now.. if anyone wants to proceed their tertiary studies... LOOK FOR MEE!!!

2. broke up, for real:
do i need to say more... =.=

ok.. i am using some one else's lappie... he is going to kill me if i don stop typing..

see u when i see you

i'm only me when i am with you

2010-10-03T09:21:00.000-07:00

To: Mr Desmond Damon Penson Pang ( DDPP)

i have a confession to make

i love shopping with you

coz i lost the sense of how shopping with frens felt like since my bitchy fren ditched me

i love hanging out with you

coz you never complain even though my demand sounds stupid

like wanting for ice cream while we were in KLCC a while ago

i love talking to you

you made me laugh and laugh

and i know it's you i could put my trust on

i love you because

i know you will not betray me like how my ex-fren did

but

i am jealous

of you hanging out with your frens

because sometimes when u love something too much

you became possessive of it

wanting it all by ur self

i know i don have the rights to feel that way

that's y i choose to distant my self for the past few weeks if u r aware

coz i scared that if you really don wan me anymore and leave me for them

i will be broken

i dislike the way u spend

let me make it clear because i am not trying to offend you my dear

because i really don wan to see you suffer when $ aren't enough

or something emergency turns out in your family

i am agreeing in 100% tat we should pamper our selves

but i am just worried that these indulgence came at the wrong time for you

and in turn, became the reason that you get worried for $

i cant help it but to blame my self for not advising you

you know how protective i am towards ppl that i care and love

sometimes i feel funny about my self.. i am a freak

and even i my self do not know my self well enough

but...

just want to let you know i love you

and i hope you can forgive me for not spending time with you

it hurts me when today you said that it's been so long ever since we last hanged out

coz it made me realize that i haven't been chilling with you

and i hope you can forgive me

if i made you feel betrayed

or offended by the things we said to tease each other (refer *1)

but you are irreplaceable and i am certain of it

because no one knows me better than you do other than my B

no one has a higher position than you in my heart among my frens

i love you and i hope we will be bestie forever, and pray that nothing will change that

from

Ruby Wong

(*1 that you said that i have no boob when we were at LRT just now...)

but i don mind, never mind a silly thing you said/slipped away from your mouth

coz i love you

detached

2010-09-25T10:11:00.000-07:00

it's been more than a month since i last updated.. i know... been really busy. or i just admit it that i am lazy

quite a number of things has took place... for the past one month. it got me thinking more than i usually do. my thoughts always keeps me wondering...

yes i am a person that likes to think... so maybe this is the reason that i am more towards a person that get worried for no apparent reason...

but... things have changed.. my life style to be specific... in my world, it was used to be Justin only... it's always the both of us, in our very small yet sweet and fulfilled world... but till... a bunch of them came into my life... our lives... things are no longer the same

i was quite a loner i have to admit... it's partially due to me not being quite able to accept other's flaw... i know that's bad and i am working really hard to accept who others may be... compromising the imperfections in man kind, after all, no one is perfect.... treating friends with a sincere heart...

two's a company three's a crowd... how does 10 sounds to you? yes... we have 10 of us in our gang for this Uni course that we enrolled in... and the 10 of us tries to do things together and enjoy our life to the very max... and it's also the 8 of the others, makes me realize a lot of things, and hence got me writing this blog.

1. Double standard....

this is what i am trying to avoid to be.. in my dictionary, the phrase double standard simple means hypocrite, back stabber... one face in front and the other at the back... well, what i can say is, if i really don like that person, i will not put on a show and say bad things about him at the back... clear cut, both the same way in your face as well as away...

grey area~
but sometimes if things were caught up in between, it's not that i don't like you, it's just that i think we share different opinion or i find it hard to blend with you due to incorrect timing... with hope i wish that things get better in the future...

pls... i am not as bitchy as i sound as referred to the above. it depends widely on the context you are implementing it in.

2. Gossip...

it hurts to know that some are saying terrible things behind you, because i was once the topic of others during their juicy gossip session... define gossip? er... you do not quite get the real message from those parties that are involved and then you start spreading wrong info =/ when you know a bit then you add in salt and pepper so that it sounds more interesting during the talk show....

grey area~
it's an unavoidable situation as you were chatting and everyone was talking... you could tell what you know (only truth)... or just choose to keep quiet? i dont know.. really... still learning and searching in this aspect... do let me know if you have insight cause this gossip issue is just complicating

3. Forgive

maybe sometimes not getting angered that soon will help to sooth out the situation or even avoid unnecessary arguments. sometimes others may say the wrong thing by those words slipping off their mouth without intention, if it hurts then you should just let it go instead of keeping it in your heart...

and i do learned that man kind is not as capable as we think we are. mouth works faster than the mind, sad to say. cognitively an incident took place, but while your mind is trying to process it into the wrong place and time when it took place, you just slip and put the scenario into the topic that was being discussed on the table...

i mean no harm...the things i said, it happened but i just got mix up with the factors involved and that's it...

in a nutshell... i should

~treat others with no bad intention at all... or else things will go hair wire, things you said before and after will be different
~do not bad mouth people for i am not that good after all if i am planning to even be friends with the subject... but if let's say you are out of my league, sorry... you will still be on the chopping board.
~follow your heart with the condition that no evil thoughts pulling the strings.. genuine care
~be optimistic! this is what i promised my love

done.

~~sorry if it's all over the place because it's one in the morning with class the next day... and this is thoughts.. it's random...~~

live life? or not

2010-08-22T01:50:00.000-07:00

while i was working... i booked a flight for a passenger to fly from Gold Coast to Adelaide... to watch cricket. and all those tickets cost around 700 AUD for 3 person... approximately 660 ringgit one person. just to watch a game. how awesome those lilfe could be!! doing the things that you love, your passion, with your closest

it's really great when you think of life.. with your loved ones and close friends.. surrounding you..

it became amazing when you have the time and money to do what you have longed to do

if i could wish upon a star and have my wish come true... after hoping that people around me will be happy and healthy... the next one is to make my life so full of experience

experience be it crazy and wild! we need some adrenaline rush in life to keep us pumping for good!

wishful thinking... but it's hope that keep us going this far... in life and that is true

so start to make a wish list of what you want to do... because life is not to be spent in the cubicle of your office and life is short... enjoy it =) live it and not waste it

when all gather as one

2010-08-11T21:59:00.000-07:00

attention to all food hunters...

looking for good food in K.L? but they are all scattered around and you will need to go several places in order to satisfy your craving?? look no more... here comes the solution...

this place has gathered only the best and famous food around K.L, they have place it all under one roof. this place used to be good, but it had become better! with every offer just at the finger tips of yours...

walking around is as though you your self is being in a maze... you will get lost in time with all these mouth watering stalls set up right in front of you...

let the pictures do the talking and you will see

this is THE popiah, perhaps the best popiah i have ever tasted...

Loh Pan Mee, it's so big that both and Justin can't finish it!

his face does the talking... tasty sweet crispy biscuit!

sesame biscuit! it melts once you put it in your mouth

porridge lover, this is for you! their raw fish porridge is yum yum! you can usually get this right smack at pasar seni... but eating porridge under the hot sun is always the concern that stops you. but now you could enjoy your porridge under an air conditioned place!

this stall has been famous for 4 generations as you can see for their fried mee and all!

my favorite beef noodle! speechless... when you try it your self you will know!

even bavaria the germen cuisine is there!

wrap it all up! i love food! (sometimes)

where is it? it's at Lot 10 food court! maybe you should really give it a go when you are free!

art gallery trip

2010-08-01T08:53:00.000-07:00

pictures that was taken before we were caught... to be exact, while i was posing like a mad lady! i mean it, mad lady! in front of all people

desmond feeling so devastated

i look so bad... pathetic attempt to be like bugs bunny

as i heard, they are paying 700K for one month rental!

that is a LOT

some may work for their whole life and never get the money!

just a really short update

Brain Wash

2010-07-30T01:13:00.000-07:00

when you do the same thing repetitively.. again and again... it will brain wash you =D or maybe suck up your mind

this afternoon, out of curiosity, i went to browse the Internet with mu mobile, and for that pathetic 15 mins usage, i got to pay 25 bucks!!! oh NOOOO~~~!!! i mean it is so unreasonable... hence i did what i was being done to.. all the time.. call to complain.. ngeh ngeh

agent: welcome to digi

me: i want to launch a complaint

agent: may i know what is it regarding about

me: i've been charged 25 bucks for 15 mins usage, i am not Happy

agent: but miss, you do know that you'll be charged 10 cents for 1 kilo bit isn't it

me: yea, but it was just 15 mins... ( in my heart, who the heck will check how many kilo bit a web page is =.= )

agent: yea, so miss i don think i can do anything.

me: but the charge is unreasonable!!!

agent: but you do know it's 10 cents for 1 kilo bit

me: enough.. i want a solution, not repetition.. i want to speak to a higher authority

agent: hold on a moment

LOL!!! this is what i usually say when i work. but my role is being an agent, and on top of that i will not simply escalate the call to the "supervisor" (which sometimes could be me... hahahaha)

spoke to the supervisor.. as expected... nothing could be done... but she is smart enough to get the key point.. that is.. i am not going to pay for this ridiculous 25 bucks! lol! sound so much like Singaporean =p

she gave me the suggestion of writing an email, which is way better than Jetstar, because usually we will push the customer to write into CR with them needing to wait at least for a month in order to get a reply... so it is not that bad after all

and in my email.. i throw all the terms i could think of when i took my services marketing paper =D try to sound smart! lol!!!

hence... with all of the above.. coincide with my introduction.. it will brain wash you when you do the things you do over and over again, like working and studying for my case!

another random shit: i want to be rich so so so badly!

true friends...

2010-07-19T07:57:00.000-07:00

i had two... namely irene and k.y... but they turn their back against me.. i was hurt... and i never wanted to trust any one else... or i will find flaws in them... so that i could at least have a prediction of what is coming... i forgot that i am full of flaws as well...

it's like saying other's clothes doesn't match with their pants... while i fail to see that my dress is rugged and patches up with cloth to cover up holes... i am full of flaws.. but i guess my ego has kill the sense of realization.. till what you have told me tonight...

i hate back stabber... define back stabber... those who talked behind your back and ruin your impression... those that was never truthful to you ...but now i am a big fat ugly back stabber my self.... so i hate my self for what i have done to you...

i give thanks that i was being absolutely transparent to you, but i suck like an ass hole for not keeping my mouth shut... i just talk too much and do not know what to say or what not to say... in turn of my silly act... i hurt you... my dearest... i was speechless when you confronted me... because i know you are right and i know you love me... i said i love you too but i betrayed you with my words... that came out from the same mouth that says i love you...

i never meant to do anything like that... i am so sorry and you got me thinking... down into the roots of my nerves... i do not want or hold any intention to hurt you... i was just too concern and it turned into a disaster...

i do not know how to face you... all i can say i am very sorry and i have never been this sorry... towards any one of my friend... i really cant bare to lose you..you are everything i have aside from my family n justin.... you were always there when i needed a hug and somebody to talk with.... but mean while i am ashame of what i have done to you... i am so sorry.... please forgive me and all i wanted is you to treat me like how you used to, if it is not too over of me to ask of it....

i am pledging that i will shut the gossip down... *slap my face*

world cup 2010~~

2010-07-11T11:22:00.000-07:00

Tsamina mina

Zangalewa

Cuz this is Africa!!!

loving the world cup cause i am starting to miss it already... you know.. having your bf bugging you about scores... grabbing the star world cup edition paper.... staying up late??? for heaven sake.... i am not going to sleep till 4.30 tonight... finger's cross no extra time and penalty =p

let's see... what will be doing during the next world cup

i may be married by then

watching it from my own home

dad would be older of cause

definitely not going to be a mom

i don know... this is just a super random blog... coz i am dosing off while waiting for it to start! and it's going to start in 10 mins!!! lol

go go go Spain!

i am getting older =.=

2010-07-08T03:53:00.000-07:00

grandma could jog better than me~~

i used to jog for AT LEAST 8 rounds at the park opposite my house... i could go 12 rounds if i want to...

but now...

i could barely finish TWO pathetic rounds... basically dragged my self through the whole of 6 rounds....

crap.... need more exercise

embrace the differences

2010-07-07T07:09:00.000-07:00

difference can be define in quite a few dimension.... let's not go too in depth today... just talk about the external... the color of the skin

it may seems to bother a lot of us about the differences that God has given... you may say that white has blonde hair, brown, red and brunette... they have fair skin... green, gray or blue eyes... they just look so much better as compare to any other races in the world, it's special... but that doesn't give them the green card to discriminate others that are just being classified as normal... just because they are prettier... and meanwhile you do not have to lose your self esteem and be ashame of your ethnicity, the blood that runs in you...

color doesn't distinguish how good a person is or how far the person could go. though you may say that majority of the successful stories were proven by the domination of the intellectual advancement of a particular skin tone kind of people...and they were white... but are you going to let the pass pull you down? they created history for them selves, so why not you create your legacy for the future? let nothing come your way that would stumble you, especially something that is out of our control...

it is not one's choice to hold the citizenship of their birth country... neither it was their option to be "colored" ... put away the stereotype glasses.... why look down at others? did any organization in the world gave you the rights to be racist? no! in fact they are trying to prevent it! look at world cup as an example.. they have to pull up the banner " say no to racism " ... are we that dumb of a creature that needs constant reminder of our behavior?

one spoil apple from the tree doesn't mean the tree that bears the fruit is a bad tree... and it does not indicate that all the other other apples are rotten, too... some races you may classified it as dangerous just because someone they do not know, but just happen to be in the same race committed universal crime... can we just not make it personal to the races? and just live in harmony?

it is a hard thing to achieve, it is easy to say than to do... but at least let's just give it try to put racism aside. embrace the difference each and every races/culture has... human is is define as one, a whole body.... let's try to unite our selves before telling big stories about saving the world.... we have been selfish long enough to only look at how good is our self, we fail to to stand together as one... perhaps it's not to late to ponder about this thought....

am not asking to do much... just do not INSULT others which you thought that you could claim your superiority upon... we are all equal...

did you earn it right?

2010-06-25T23:01:00.000-07:00

it's been like madness back in office.... save the drama on the politics, but those people just couldn't care less in regards of the earning bucks with diginity... they do illegal sales.... not smalll tiny ones, it's near to half a k and no body seems to care

i am not going to get jeolous of these people, neither am i going to be upset about it =/ i mean if you could use those money without the haunting thought that these money that you have is all filthy, not deserving of you to suck people's hard earn money

neither am i going to care about the grapevine in the office saying that chinese speaking agents are so free all the time regardless of the call Qs and we are having idle.... can i just admit that i would rather enjoy life sitting around and then give up on my sales commission.... i know money comes from hard work, so i am giving up money for easy life in regards of the commission.

it takes really hard toll for me to decide on that because if you know me, i am money concern type of people... but looking at my current situation, apparently i am just working too hard for people at my age... studies, family and work.... i do not have social network.... yea i know i am pathetic.. so i have decided to play more in my sad little cubicle... talk to my baby and desmond... surf the web which i hardly could find anytime to do it at home

and blogging....

peace to the world..... with love

i just do not care

2010-06-17T09:43:00.000-07:00

yea, i do not have many friends. but who needs those hypocrites that put on a show? it will only bring you heartache and create disastrous memories that haunt you for life. needless to say who am i referring you. life doesn't end if you have to be a loner. i will choose being a loner than to be a stupid who gets cheat.

family? i love my dad and my late mother. second brother? i have no issues thought sometimes i think he could do way better than what he could at his age provided if he has the right form of support. eldest brother? please, i am absolutely disgusted by the way he treats my dad. he is just a fucking ass hole. i literally mean it from the bottom of my heart. shame on his wife, too... for i think she is a bitch, yet a very successful brain washer which is a fact that is absolutely undeniable. it doesn't bother me at all if you call me disrespectful. mom's last word was... take care of each other, assist in any way possible for those in need among the three of you... that doesn't apply to you when you force someone else to pick up the property you do not want... not returning the money that you owed... or ask your sister to bounce off when she needed financial assistance in her tertiary study. mind you... i was in TAR College, not Taylor... you are just a disgrace... shame on you...

that's all for family and friends. you may think i am pathetic after you read this, but i would rather to have truthful people around then to have fakers... even it means i will have to settle my own funeral when the day for me comes... dare not to say my choice of this path is wise, just playing on the safe side. i am a mere human, couldn't take too many severe damages time after time. i have learned... to know that life is a piece of shit... so live with it.

am i weird of what.... nah, just SUPER RANDOM

2010-06-15T08:53:00.000-07:00

Facts about me... i am discovering my self more and more each day o.O??

!. i use to love driving... but now i am sort of fed up about it.... not to mention that i have yet to try driving in a congested traffic for hours. live in KL, suck it up people

@. i like staring and just stone.... like for a very long time and my mind will start to drift very far... you call it day dream, but i am sort of like treating as a Hobby.... a very bad one because sooner will i know that what ever i was day dreaming will become my obsession almost for the whole day... kept thinking thinking and thinking.... i know it's annoying... tell me about it

#. i talk to my self.... i cant believe i am disclosing this!!! just to get reassurance that's number one, to fill in the silence is another reason why... sometimes when i am all alone at home, the quietness just pierce through and it hurts more than a stereo blasting in disco volume

$. i am super paranoid about money... when i have not enough money i will make loads of noise, when i have money i will also do the same.... could i ever shut it? =p

%. the power of make up will transform you.... absolutely looking like a different person before and after.... so guys out there, you do not know who you are dating unless they remove their make up....

that's for now =) it's getting really late...

Spoilers.... don come running after me

2010-06-14T08:56:00.000-07:00

ONLY FOR REAL TWILIGHT DIE HARD....

NO ROB PAT AND K-STEWART'S FANS PLEASE AS THIS MAY GET UGLY

i have read all four books of the Twilight Saga... nothing to brag about, i believe a lot of people have done that... perhaps numerous times... and for those who really read the book... i am sure you are able to realize that what ever that the movies has portray just doesn't match the novel at all

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

let's talk about Isabella Marrie Swan since the book is written from her perspective :

her characteristics are suppose to be a dark humor kind of girl, that is the deepest impression i have got for her. she could even joke as she was pregnant with Renesmee though she is so weak. not only that.... she is definitely not a cold cool kind of girl, perhaps not too bubbly... just at a nice balance as Stephenie Mayer would like to illustrate.

But look!!

Kristen Stewart absolutely has no idea what kind of role is she taking. she is like so cool.... "ok sure...." , "erm... that's fine..." seems to be her only kind of expression... playing cool and i absolutely have no idea why does she likes to bite her lips!!! so much... to much.... Bella is never the cool type of girl, K Stewart absolutely spoil it and pollute the whole role.

p/s: i Just CANT WAIT till Breaking Dawn for the part she would be playing will become so much tougher.... with all the feelings mix up together before and after her immortality.... she cant just play safe with her cool expression anymore because that will never do. she absolutely SPOILS the whole image i have for Bella after she became undead...*head shake.. sigh*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

next up ... Edward Cullen * eyes roll.... he is worst*

Edward is suppose to be the most flawless and beautiful creature that has ever appear on the surface of the earth for Bella... every single movement he made is suppose to be GRACEFUL!! but....look.... especially when he was trying to protect Bella from James and his gang in Twilight... me and Justin laugh the crap out of us... because his body coordination just SUCKS!! needless to bring out anymore elaboration...

girls out there just got confused... they are not crazy about Robert Pattinson, but the character in Twilight Saga - Edward Cullen ....

water or wine

2010-06-13T09:40:00.000-07:00

i am not talking about Christianity walk of faith.... of how Jesus turn water into wine in the wedding of Cana... I just have a rush of thought that flows out... and i would like to capture it.... illustrate it and share it

i am talking about love

though i am not an expert in it

********

Wine.... has a texture that some are so define and leave such deep impression even if you only take in a sip. and the thrill it will send down your spine if you are an expert in the field and not to mention about some wine can cost a real fortune. taste so rich and the alcohol in it kick the excitement up a knot... you will get drunk if you have too much....

Water.... ordinary and plain. seems like it is easily accessible. gives a feeling of reality for it is something that we could not run short in a daily life. moreover, water gives life. water quenches thirst. it is not something that you must have the money or the status in order to possess it.

********

i would say the ideal love story we want to have is like wine... always leaves deep impression by doing something out of ordinary and to make that happen.... a lot of money has to be spend... it gives you thrill and adrenaline rushes into your head when the opposite attraction is too overwhelming to bring sense into you at that moment anymore.... it is exciting.... but how many of you really experience it before and all you ever felt was a hangover when a full stop mark an end to your adventure...

where as when you bounce back to reality.... true love is like water.... so real even though it is very ordinary... nothing special but just a sense of steadiness. it gives the both of you new life as you dwell and commit your self into it. it quenches the longing for a soul mate regardless of how rich or poor you are.... it is rightfully yours and no one could ripe it away, and having water when you are thirsty.... gives you the feeling of your request being fulfilled... which is what part of relationship is about... making each other's live fuller and more accomplished in a real and not fantasy way....

X-MEN rally

2010-05-31T02:50:00.000-07:00

wasted life if you do not watch them

i am not a great fan of motion pictures, neither anything that's from the comic.... and i heard Batman Dark Knight was good, but i actually fell asleep watching it... Guys... i hope i don deserve a penalty by confessing this....

and i told Justin that there are a lot of production, great ones.. that i was never interested to watch.... but i insist on him downloading some shows for me and the first in the list was X-MEN... all three episode plus the origin of wolverine..

it was on my desktop for a month and i have no intention of watching it... till one day i was super bored... i start watching it and damn... the frenzy started.... was so reluctant to sleep after watching the first episode.... it was good... trust me... esp girls out there that think that motion pics are boring.... you can take my word for it.... it's one of the best motion production ever regardless of you dislike towards combat and the so called "boy's movie"... give it a try and you will love it =D (partially due to the handsome hugh jackman =p )

thoughts after watching it? i think mutation is a good thing.... human beings evolve to adapt to the ever changing environment in the world that may benefit or harm us and in the end lead us to extinction....

and if you were to ask which hero will i want to be... let's say....

Mystique: you can be anyone you want... and not to mention about the hot Bod.... =p

Storm: i do not need to bring umbrella to for outings anymore

Gene: may the stuff i want come to me... and i need not to go to them... and i could read your mind.... LOL

just a random thought.... after working for almost 20 hours...

but i promise.... i will do a review about desperate housewives when i have the time.... because it's just another heck of a nice series.... that i love the most....

p/s: thanks Americans for the movies!!

real working life?

2010-05-28T07:59:00.000-07:00

the room was empty

surprising

and i heard... PM left

it was all so sudden.....

one thing on my mind....

i thought they at least need a month's notice?

but there... you all are gone....

then i got to know that more and more people has hand in their resignation letter

can you actually leave just like that?

don't you know by not saying goodbye

we will have regrets in life...

because though it's only been a year

but i felt like this is a big family

through thick and thin

and all these that took place

made me speechless

what i am feeling now is mixed emotions

Graduation

2010-05-20T07:04:00.000-07:00

perhaps mine is not as exciting as Isabella Marrie Swan's graduation... i mean duh!? she was going to turn into a vampire after her graduation... i mean that was the plan originally... er... never mind that, all gibberish because i do not know how to start....but i am thrill... i made it =/

it was overall fine... i mean the time i had in TARC, and the most beneficial thing i obtained through out is a super deep and over whelming friendship... with my beloved Desmond Pang... he made my life... sparkle once again... i mean after the hurt i have went through because of betrayal... from both of my so called besties... but he made me a believer... i love him without a doubt.... so so much.... so so dearly... i am glad being able to be the one laugh together at some silly jokes of ours... i cherish it... deeply... and i really wish that we will be like this forever... Love you Des =)

other than that, Lin Xi, you've been a good friend, thanks for being there and telling me what bimbo means =p

though looking back... it may seems two years flashes by so quickly... but reminiscing it in details... i do miss those time when Justin stays at my place... it was the best time ever... that was probably the only thing i could recall in my college life that's fun because never really did anything fun....

and remembering how stupid i was to wear a gown in the rain waiting for a cab... because she failed to keep her promise....

i do not know what to say.. because i felt i did not live my college life to the fullest... it was sort of wasted..... so now.. it makes me want to be Bella... at least i could be a vamp after graduation =/

another thing about me - workaholic

2010-05-15T07:50:00.000-07:00

i hate to admit it, but i am... i wish i that i wont be one, but i have every symptoms of it even from so long ago... i may not know my self very well... but one thing is for sure, if i want something very badly, i will give my best to get it no matter how much effort i have to put in... i can go on a frenzy sometimes...

example...

i remember i did this individual assignment along side with some other assignments that cross path with it... i basically spend the whole night without sleeping to check and make sure everything is fine because i really wanted the best out of it... and the next day i presented... the result was satisfying and i got what i wanted... even though it means i am going to crash once i get back home due to lack of rest...

yes... call me crazy

but for me, life is simple... food do not drop down from above... if you want it, you have to earn it.... i LOVE money and i am shouting out loud to tell you that (for crying out loud, who doesn't love money)... even though it means that i have to work like a cow who has no life... but what else can i do without cash?? i WILL eventually have life when i have cash and i am certain that life with cash is going to be much better than a life with NO cash...

do not get me wrong here... i would like to once again clarify my self of my relationship with cash $$....

~~ i am NOT materialistic... i do want and ask thing from my boy friend even my ex... i have my own principals... if you want to go out and eat with me... we both pay for our own food... i am not a sucker

~~ even though i have the money... i will spend it wisely... let's say i have RM 100... and i am looking for a t-shirt... i got something from MNG for RM 99 and some nameless shop with RM 20 one t-shirt... i will go with having 5 pieces of clothes in hand, rather than one piece of MNG with one buck left... for now... i will spend it wisely.. unless i am freaking rich in the future that i have no where else to spend my money on, then i will buy branded.... how about JimmyChoo? er... 380,000 one pair of heels? that's right, high heel that's underneath your feet, is going to cost at the price of a house... that just sound insane and so not me... not pretty like that this is going to happen... lol!

~~ i work hard for money, in the RIGHT way, no hanky panky... i know my own principals... yes... i know what surroundings can turn you into... but i am hoping that i will hold on to my grip, on tight, and earn it like i deserve it... no through some other ways.... in life

for this first time my life during holiday break... i truly enjoy my self rather rotting at home... living every single bit of it even though it means frustration from work and how work could worn you out sometimes... but i love it without a doubt no matter what.... especially at the end of the day... the fulfillment is just overwhelming...

p/s: if i look grumpy or cranky... forgive me... i can be tired after needing to smile through the phone to sound bubbly to some demanding customers... i just need a break... no offence =p

love... in a real or a fantasy way vampires

2010-05-11T08:26:00.000-07:00

was watching vampire diaries, you just couldn't deny that this vampire thing is getting a little too over heated among youngsters and especially girls.. i mean like seriously, if you ask a girl whether would she want to be a vampire, she would give everything it takes to be one...

in all the love stories, stressing it more on vampires, love is always like a dream come true... Bella Edward, Elena Stefan and whole lot which I've never come across to... things always starts this way... ordinary girl, never thought of dating a super handsome FLAWLESS guy.. but poof!! there he is, crushing on her... blah blah blah with all the sweet romantic stuff... but seriously, since those vamps has been living so hundreds over years, why would they be crushing on a young teenager that could easily be their great-great-great-great-great grand daughter, and now it's being mentioned, sounds gross isn't it, dating an old junk that looks good?? *puke*

seriously....
do you think love is always that ironic? it takes time for both to understand each other and to get together, and man... that is not as easy as *hey, i'm Edward, sorry about last time, didn't get a chance to introduce my self... you are... Bella right* and the wedding bell rings and you know for sure... what the heck? do you really believe in that? no!! hence, love means understanding, it doesn't come along by just having a crush on an eye candy...

seriously...
do you think everything in the movie that is so sweet and you wish your other half would have do it for you.... *such as seeing you sleep every night* i personally do not think it's a good thing... i mean who would have know if you drool or you snore... and there goes your sweet image... not even one sleeps like Bella.... get real... lol!! and those lovey dovey stuff with the romance gushing into your head wishing that you could be her... forget it.... you know how much time author spend on what romance will do the trick in the book??... and probably they them selves haven't even felt it before... because it's fiction... it's not suppose to be real... so this means this is just the author's fantasy, nothing close to reality.... we have bills, education, family and friends to take care of instead of driving in a silver Volvo all around... so don't start the blame when your other half is not romantic, if he is.. you better be careful, sensual and romantic guy hit on other girls very often because they think they are.... irresistible...

seriously....
you think everyone communicates like they do, talk as thought there wont be any disagreement... nicely speaking on the sofa... "yeah, i love you... blah blah* everyone communicates in a different way... there is no guide line, no rules to have a loving conversation... just be comfortable, natural... because this is how both of you should be... not how you want it to be...

it's pretty late... better get to bed... but i promise... to keep this blog updated.... stay tune and you wont get disappointed

i am through with it...

2010-05-09T21:24:00.000-07:00

Things i hate about you... without a doubt

1. you have no initiative in everything!!! in life, in me, in work... name it!!! I've told you numerous times that you have to toughen up, improve to be better by initiating thoughts, so that you don't join the fresh meat society and one day, get feed up without a trace and others barely know your existence. Life is a ladder climbing process, you take a step at a time, to become better for your self and those around you... you need not to be so kind to be THE ladder to be step on for other to gain of their success... if that is your ambition, go ahead, but i am telling you.... it's me you're going to lose, and apparently, even thought i am the price you have to pay, you agree and still put me on a chopping board!! i am not that silly... i would rather have someone that truly appreciate me and will do all he can to keep me by his side that to make a a guinea pig.

2. excuses excuses excuses.... your brain has never turn that fast before when it comes to solving our problem, but when it comes to covering your ass.... oh damn.... you are faster than a Mazda that pick up from 0 to 60 in less than 3.5... if you can never put your trust in me in this relationship, the most important element that keep it going is gone... i want you to be truthful, admit that you are wrong than giving a mountain high of reasons to get your self out of it... it is not a gentlemen act, neither it is a mature gesture.

3. relationship is about acceptance, couldn't agree more, but that doesn't mean that knowing that you are going to meet a down fall with your current attitude, i am just going to fold my arms and look at you falling. acceptance is the core, however you can never neglect enchancement as well... life for the both to be together in is suppose to be fulfilling, achieving goals in life together and assist each other when the direction is blur.... we need to improve... but you do not see it

4. can you please for heaven's sake... have a point of your own, stand firm on what you want and what you think is right... fuck!!! i can't take this shit anymore!!! you are 20 years old, not a 2 years old toddler, you make decision for your self, your life on what you want.... i can never tolerate with this anymore... if i could not stand my first for even 8 days just by him not having his point of view... i do not understand what makes us last so long when you are way worst than him.... i guess i have to look beyond just a pretty face from now onwards... it's just frustrating...

there are so much more... but by saying right now is just going to trigger the fire in me to burn even brighter and stronger.... i am afraid that i will lose control and burn my self....

i am just a mere human being...

2010-05-08T08:38:00.000-07:00

my heart bleed

when you said i am the same

as the both of them

but i dare say

i gave you more

than what they are giving

though my capabilities are limited

but you just took all of me

toss it out into the never ending sky

i cant seems to obtain any clues

from my other half

as well as my best confidant

because it is true

that you always think that you are right

being so stubborn to listen

thinking that you are always right

but no.. that is not going to work

every and each time round

not anymore

i am here

working my ass off

while i could do the opposite

but because of you

i took the extra miles

way out of my bound

so that you could be carefree

but you were always having this thoughts

that i am doing bad things

behind you back

but i am not

i am behaving as well as ever

and for your information

i would turn bad when i was 15

if i wanted to

there is no such need for me

to wait till now

i am happy that you are well taken care of

someone to love and care for you

i am a human being as well

i deserve that, too

it hurts when i walk in

all lights are off

silence pierce through

it hurts both my eyes and ears

not to mention my heart

i am not asking anything more

just want to be loved

and cared for...

if it is not too much for you

i wont blame you if you cant give it to me

but please

do not reap away the other sources

of my happiness
it is my right... basic right

sucks

2010-05-04T06:20:00.000-07:00

after work, all you ever wanted is to take a good shower and have loads of rest... lease out the tension.. who will know that the freaking lift is down and the water is off.... this place is a crap hole. esp with those people living in here and breaking into houses as their occupation... i just want to shift out... as soon as possible with daddy

Genting !!!

2010-04-29T10:52:00.000-07:00

it was a splendid trip! went genting with Justin, Desmond and Pui Yin! it was awesome... enjoyed every single bit of it... mainly is because of the people... not much about the environment, i mean... the weather is not as cold as last time, i could wear sleeveless while it was actually raining out there.... but one imperfection about this trip was... everyone was so sleepy due to the exam has just ended and then we head right up to the castle build in the air... let me tell you why

i basically was awake for 48 hours, due to the brilliant arrangement of the timetable.. right after my nightmare, FOA, which ended at 1600 on the 26th, i have another paper on the 27th's morning! gosh! i do not even have to shut my eyes in peace for more than an hour... then i headed for the paper that starts at 0900.... after the exam, of course i will need to go out and celebrate to release my stress... ended up, getting a real rest on 28th's 0100...

woke up 7 hours later, headed to the station, and the great things that took place was.... FUCK!! the lift is down, me and my dad basically has to rush down from the 27th floor to ground floor, what a great exercise to begin my day =.= reached the station on time and hop on to the bus... and just kept talking as the usual self of me and Justin, of every single topics that could come across

arrived and had our brunch at KFC (stupid des, waste food.... may the chicken haunt you in your dream) - checked in to our own rooms - saw an indian man took pic of the world map and des was saying, never seen world map before meh, go online and google it la =.= - chillax for a while - headed to outdoor theme park and weather was awesome - but i was a little droopy cause i was tired - cockscrew tadada and etc - headed back to the room for mask while Pui Yin was asleep - dinner at buffet - chor D for almost 1 hour with such small cards, having such hard time to shuffle them, pity Pui Yin, lol!! - headed to Safari at 11 and we thought the party has started =.= it was only 2 uncles on the dance floor with a woman that my B claims to be a guy....

it was Wednesday night and it was ladies night... entrance fees for the gentlemen is 25 and i had a beer hoping to get my self tipsy... fail... i felt nothing at all after one bottle, NOTHING!! and crowd starts coming in at 12 plus... enjoy our selves in the groove, just shaking out body... tadada... and an A GUA came out, with tiny bikini bras! love it like shit! all of us laugh our heads off.... mingle on the dance floor, dare not to get too close with des for his status now is different =p went back at 1, showered and chit chat till 3 =D

drag my self to wake up 8 in the morning, gulp down my breakfast like a zombie while my B was happily eating every he could *salute* and after that, headed back to the hotel to sleep.. check out at 12, after that only we could do that by one... me and des was like, great, should have sleep for another hour more... went to McD, chor D and then walk around... went arcade... and won some tickets, got a small toy for Pui Yin (dont know she likes it or not, was thinking it's her first time out with us, hoping that she could keep something as a souvenir of our craziness =p )... then walk around some more... till it's time to accompany Pui Yin to the platform for her bus... then the three of us just waited there, talk some crap and off we go to the journey back home

loving the trip, especailly the people, was really glad to know Pui Yin and i realize she has many things in common with me in life. it's true she has a wonderful personality, or else she will not be able to stand des's stupid attitude, lol des! joking! love u as usual, all the time... muacks! over all, love the trip and everyone that has made this short trip, a wonderful one... if fate would allow, i am looking forward for a trip with the same people or even more, for the time to come...

(sorry, no pics, i am not a pic person =p)

exam.... arghhh puke

2010-04-24T23:42:00.000-07:00

everyone is so busy with their exam and my blog is like... so freaking dead cause it's been almost a week since i last updated... not many readers... so =/ quite sad... *sob sob*

after this Tuesday, i am throughly done with TARC... i think it's a happy thing.... never really enjoy my part of the journey in class.... but thanks for those who at least put in some effort to work it out... am sorry if it didn't turn out the ideal way...

can't wait!!! so many things to do, like working... working and o ya! working.... =.=

come on people.. let's give it the last push...

looking out of the window

2010-04-20T04:01:00.000-07:00

i was in the library studying... cracking my head

looked out of the window, a bird flew pass

i wish i could be like the bird

no worries, no need to struggle

few seconds later

hmm... maybe the bird might wish that it could actually be a human

moral of this short little update:

everyone, everything on earth... are destined to be what it suppose to be

you are who you are

no body can do your job better than your self

so.... stop complaining... wishing to be something that you are not... that is not worth of your time

be your self... do your best

you cant change where you are from, what you are

but by changing the way you think, you can change your action...

hence resulting in different consequences...

cheers.... for life that is worth living.... as your self

love your self

randomz

2010-04-17T23:30:00.000-07:00

yes...

i just need to make sure u will stand tall for me when i need you to be there

a firm shoulder for me to lean on when i am weak

a pair of strong hands to wipe away my tears...

love never fails....

Purpose of my life

2010-04-17T03:20:00.000-07:00

was watching some TV program just now, introducing those nice place to go in China, it was AWESOME!!! i mean i would love to go travelling, because i think life is to short to be staying in your own mansion for the rest of your life by not stepping out

i want to earn a lot of $$, nope... i am not materialistic, i am just being realistic... it's true! cash is not everything, but without cash you are nothing.. ( don tell me you still got credit card =p ) but the thing is... how do you use your cash

i was pretty naive, you know... having a big house, driving a big car around... buying loads of clothes... doing loads of shopping as i like... but i realize... what would happen to it when we get older? too old to drive... to old to walk around in the big house of your own, too fat to wear those clothes that once fit you so flawlessly? haha, then i realize... nah ah... that's not gonna work... i am not going to rest in peace when i am laying in my coffin for eternal silence... i would be able to have memories to ponder on when i am old... or pictures to look at of the places that i once went with my loved ones... i would just be an old lady sitting on her chair... waiting for time to come... that's pretty sad...

all i need for a house is just enough for the two of us.. maybe a kid... maybe... lol!! i wont be needing a big house to show those robbers "hey, rob me!! I've got plenty of valuables in here!!" neither am i going to drive a huge luxury car to show off... paying extra high road tax and you know the reason behind such high tax.

i am 20 this year, and i am going to start my journey of travel, by making a promise to my self... to get a real good camera/ video cam before i start travelling ( which i think most probably when i'm 21 ) so that i could capture the moments, put captions under the pictures.... keep it as a memory... a witness of what time has done to us, that's to get old... and i think it's the sweetest way to get old... by looking at your life being filled with experiences and happy moments!

of cause, i am not going to be a big spender, lashing all my money out without saving it.. will keep a small portion, for emergency use or etc... wont bother much about materials anymore... these are the things that we can't bring it with us into our grave... and the best gift that God has gave... it's not our wisdom to think that we are so better off than any other people and that's why we can earn so much money... it's the fact that he has created the world in such amazing way... so that we could spend our momentary treasure - money, and go places around to globe to be filled in awe with His creation, the most beautiful work ever... which we could bring it with us... where ever we go...

cheers! to the beginning of a traveler's life...

acne =( hate it

2010-04-10T19:49:00.000-07:00

went for dermatologist 2 weeks ago, because i was having a cystic acne, it was quite a big deal as i read from the internet. it will cause scarring, it will come back and it can never be treated by squeezing it out, which i tried 3 months back and left a scare as a terrible souvenirs, i had the cyst on the same spot 3 months ago and i thought it's absolutely fine to pop it and it ended up in tragedy. so it made a come back this time, i can tell that something is wrong and i did research... decided to seek for professional's advise because it is going to get a lot more nasty if i leave it there, unsettle =/

it cost me 110 for an injection and some antibiotics, the result was amazing, it has gotten so much better even after 2 days! and i think the money is all worth while to be spent on this, though i might not be able to shop anymore for the next one month =p

but what trouble me most is, the doctor advise me to go for another check up in these few days time, i mean... it's gonna cost another sum of money.... but Justin convinced me that going for the check up is necessary because prevention is better than cure and i also need to get advise from the specialist instead of just simply browsing through the net... which is think it's true... if it helps to erase off my worries =)

money money money.... i think i better study hard to earn more money in the future!!! hahaha

for those who love in a different way

2010-04-10T08:07:00.000-07:00

was watching TV this afternoon, flipping channels and i saw Andy Lau on a TV show, cooking and talking about his life. he looks gorgeous, I like him ever since young, basically grew up with his amazing songs. Though i know he is quite old already right now, but he still looks great! and my mind started to wonder off, thinking that with him this kind of talent, look, fame and wealth, as long as he wants, thousands of girls will be lining up for him... unconditionally.. but yet... he hold on to his love, though it was so far... one is in Hong Kong and the other half is in Malaysia.. i do not know how often they see each other, but keeping their love as new as it was first blossom is not an easy job. i am sure it took a pretty hard toll on both side. Male would have to resist the temptation and stay loyal, female would have to give full trust to the other half by absolutely believing in everything that he is doing. i am sure it hurts when ever she see him on TV, i am sure her heart will ache... what more can she want? she has wasted all her life for a man, so close yet so far... and i am sure in times of loneliness, when all she needed was a hug from her loved one, wishing to cuddle in his arm... it seems... quite impossible... but both of them cling on, and stay together for a decade or more... i could not find any words to describe it... it is just simply.... touching...

some may say he mistreated her, because he never once given any form of acknowledgement of their love in the public.... but i say... stay out of their way... it's their very own method of love, as long as both of them are truly enjoying it... i guess this i what life is worth living for

another story... my beloved pet bro Wai Kit and his beautiful girl, Sook Wan... kor kor went UK to study 2 to 3 years back, leaving her here is not easy, i can tell... i must had hurt both of them so deeply, needing to bit farewell at the airport... especially those nights that they get to spend before kor kor go on board, i guess they were wishing that they could keep their eyes open for the rest of the nights..

i know my bro is working hard over there, and he can only come back once or twice a year... needing to cope with the tough subjects and new environment... and for her... she took the challenge! i mean in Uni, she took the subject that she never thought she would make it and she ended up getting such good result, it's just fascinating... and hereby, i wish them both all the very best in the future, may a happy life awaits you both

cheers.. for those who love <3

love my guitar more than manicure

2010-04-08T06:57:00.000-07:00

it hurts!!!! my finger tips are all numb now... in pain... skin are peeling off.... all for the sake of music... no music, no life =p

i love guitar even though it means from now onwards i wont be able to have manicure any more, because when you play guitar, you are require to have short nails... preferably, really short one to hit the string precisely. so my nails would be short and i wont be able to put nice colour on it anymore... =( but it's ok... i've diverted my attention to my toes!! pedicure!!! loving it =)

it helps to calm the soul when you listen to the wonders those six strings can bring... and the joy that overwhelm you when you learn a new song... and the feeling of accomplishment after you could play and sing the song that you love... another reason for such passion... Taylor Swift!! i think girl playing guitar is pretty cool =)

err... about today... went tuition... finger cross that all these time wont be wasted... all i want is a pass for my account paper. then brought desmond and justin for lunch at four seasons! great lunch we had!! totally enjoyed the environment, food and of course the companionship of those around... my lovely justin and des =)

better stop right here, tomorrow having exam some more... better start studying before it's too late

p/s: Papa i love you!!!! so much!!! Just wanna SHOUT OUT LOUD!!!

not anymore

2010-04-07T03:35:00.000-07:00

i was alone at first, but you came by and show me sight of hopes, asking me to be friend you...

i trusted you, without any doubts in heart and did what you told me to...

my only hope was to be as happy as you are

it was tempting to see how happy could i be when i am with you...

i came, off guard... hoping that things would change...

at first, you showed me that you would be there, but not for long

you are the reason that i walked alone

you have forgotten your promise to me, saying that you will keep me by your side

you are the reason i am so lonely

because you only go out with your circle, never minding me

sometimes, you even look at me without those discriminating eyes

as though i did something that's worth to be punished

you push me away from you, leaving me out in the cold

what ever i said, fade away with the wind... unheard

you forgot that i am a person, just like you are...

all i needed was a friend, but you never put your self in my shoe.. ever before

i am glad that today is the last day of college

i need not to see you anymore

it means it will cause me less heartache

perhaps, i should leap for joy because i am done with you

but there is part of you that i would never forget

and i will appreciate it... keep it close to my heart

Today.... 6/4/2010

2010-04-06T02:30:00.000-07:00

i did....

@ went to college like an hour earlier than my lecture suppose to begin, to ask for guideline for the coming test, err... not much gain, just found out that she is a bitch... yes Wong Shue Wen, you are a stupid bitch =) i really do not know why are you so insisting on holding to you stupid principles, maybe seeing people suffer makes you happy? freak.....

@ skip my tutorial class for movie in KLCC, HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON!!! cool!! i would rate 9.5 out of 10, nice show!!! graphic is cool because i went 3D, story line is pretty surprising, captivating and full of substance... really worth watching and highly recommending it!!! Toothless is just so adorable =p it reminds me of Stitch, huge eyes and intelligent, and very powerful too...

@ bought two pretty cloths, not for my self though... hope you like it <3

doing...

@ my mask... my face condition is pretty bad... hoping to get a new mask to pamper my self after exam

@ blogging while waiting for the time to pass...

Going to do....

@ my revision for the test that is coming up this friday

@ pedicure touch up

@ maybe poker a while

~~here are some pictures for the movie... if you have the time, you should catch it... especially if you are a pet lover... cause you might end up wanting to get one of those... =p which is impossible~~

Ethics in Malaysia

2010-04-02T00:54:00.000-07:00

terrible terrible... some idiot scratches my car... i mean can malaysian be more ethical? from what my dad can see, the scratches are actually the mark of basket being pulled on top of the bonnet... they are just simply acting like some stupid morons... tell me would you ever improve??? it's not that hard after all to act like a civilize person... unless you are not educated at all, which i presume you be...

admit it, all these that i am talking about annoys every single one of you isn't it?

* littering every where as though they are stupid enough to not use a dustbin..

* spitting every where and GOD!!! out of the window without caring about those who are walking or on a bike? damn, do you have any idea how fucking disgusting could that be?

* vandalize almost EVERYTHING that you could see.. wall, lift, stairs.... shits! name it, everything!!! if you have such itchy hands, get a fucking life... can you people show some civilization and stop acting as though you are from the cave? only cave man likes to draw on the wall and i am so sorry... your filthy art is not being appreciated at all...

* parents, please mind your child, they are annoying and it's NOT ADORABLE at all, laughing while the kid press the button in the lift for almost every floor just makes me want to strangle him... all you bloody ass hole ever did was just smile and think it's cute... why don you parents wear a diaper as well? as far as i'm concern, you act just like you pathetic kid...

looking at how other Asia countries improve and doing so well, just makes me wonder is there anything wrong with the management of our country? just across the bridge, Singapore!!! ever expanding... economics doing so well and everything is so in order! try to vandalize in Singapore, you will definitely get fined... alright... you might say they are a little bit too small, but there is unity in them hence their country improve... i do not understand why, we have all the resources that we need... but why are we still under this kind of circumstances where we could actually be better.... trust me, this piece of fat land can do so much better than what its doing now

i felt absolutely useless or not being treasured in this country... there is this quote... i have no power to choose which country to be born in, it's not my options... yes, i am a chinese, and i am proud of it... but one of YOUR politician insulted us saying we were just "penumpang" is absolutely crazy and he din even apologize!! FYI, i am born at this very land as well... without chinese, indians and malays working so hard at the beginning, you think you will be where you are? i love this land and am just disappointed how it was managed...

ONE MALAYSIA?? why don you make it one for all, and all for one? we citizens are so compressed by the authorities... sucking up monies... it's ok if the result is satisfying.. but look!!! infrastructure having troubleSS... and the funniest joke that the globe would laugh at us was... a tunnel that was build for the purpose to preventing flood actually flooded it self!!! be the judge your self... you know what i mean... of where our money is going

i love this land, but is the people that i am unsatisfied with... but world is unfair, live with it!!!

here are some pics to share =p

we are seriously not concern that your poor dick is leaking, you need a doctor, not publicity...

=.= is it that interesting after all to pull all this out.. why don you try pulling your own head out!!

Cant you let those souls rest in peace? i wonder would it even creep you at night...

GET A TOILET!!!! IDIOT!!! you are pissing like how a dog would, on the wall, in the public

Try to imagine that ambulance are trying to look for the house where people are dying in there... looking for road signs to get to the place, and the only see numbers for shark loan...

you do not need to tell others that you could WRITE finally after so long in school... unfortunately you forgotten that writing are meant to be on papers.. not at the back of the chair

it's a dream that would never come true

2010-03-30T20:24:00.000-07:00

great... another night where i have you in my dream... it's the second time in within 5 days... i do not feel good about this, it makes me wake up in distress, knowing that what ever i had in my sleep was nothing more than merely just a dream that would never come true... however, it's undeniably sweet in my dreams, it was like so real, but i know it's no big deal about it, i used to dream about some strangers and it feels more or less as similar to it as well... maybe it's the reason being of me knowing you that makes the whole dream more intensify...

not hoping for anything in the dream to come true, absolutely positive about it... cant dwell in the past for too long, moreover there is nothing about it to be worth stopping for, all that is left is just vague memories that could serve as a pass time to reminisce about, that is provided if i still could remember what took place... i have a brain that is too small to accommodate life, i know it is pathetic... i could barely remember what i did yesterday.... i am really really bad in memory

since you have moved on so fast and no trace are left behind that proves any event has ever happened in between us, i guess that is a perfect way to bit farewell... i can't deny that i am loving the idea of it... i would have to say that i am an overly sensitive person when it comes to this issue... never mind that, i know it will get better along the way in life... but just so that you would be notify, or even before what ever that we used to own becomes flash back that i could imperceptibly recall, i would say... thank you for the experience, it was indeed great to have you as my companion, even though it does not signifies anything beyond that, but it was lovely of you.... and you are a pretty special person in life, hope that we could still keep in touch for the time ahead us, it's good to have you as friend... best wishes in the future undertakes, cheers and good-bye <3

It's good to catch up =)

2010-03-28T01:40:00.002-07:00

it's been so long ever since i last catch up with a friend of mine back in secondary school who just got married a year and a half ago, i was so anticipating to hear her story of her marriage, but it was pretty saddening when she said that she is considering about having a divorce 'O' i was like OMG!!! at first i was pretty insisting in advising her not to give up, but after she told me her story... i started to stay in silence.....

they started quite happily, and he would never fail to make her smile, they were pretty happy... till one day he proposed, she hesitated, and she said i would say yes if you promise me one thing... that is to be more mature in his way of acting.. because they will soon share a life together and will be having a family as well... he said yes and the church's bell rang... 5 months after that...

at first they were pretty happy... not till my friend started to fell that she is the one who has to take care of the household... juggling with work and her in laws, as well as a husband whom she felt like she was baby sitting him all the time. she told me she thought that it would be cute that he is always acting like a child to make her smile every time she came back after work, but not long after, she felt like it was an absolute burden... because life is not a bed of roses, there are a lot of things for her to consider and she would need a man who can be by her side to take care of her and lessen the stress of life. but he was never able to do that... all he could ever do is what ever a kid could do...

she appreciate her marriage, she tried talking to him so that he would realize... then she finally experience how does it feel to talk to a stubborn person... it is not like her is reluctant to listen or what, is just that he would say " yea yea, i will remember what you say and i will try my best, i know it's for both of our future" but few days later he would be repeating the same mistake he has made just before, like as if nothing has ever happended... she was heart broken, she told me she felt like her heart was reap, broken again and again everytime he disappoint her.. over and over again... and that goes on for a long time.. till now she is considering a divorce because she could no longer bare it...

but she also realize the price she has to pay... she will lose EVERYTHING she has right now and be all alone till she would be able to meet the next Mr. Right.... she never mind that he is not rich, not the smartest, not the best looking one... she is happy that he is ordinary, but she could never be able to bear with a man who is not willing to improve him self and fails to know that he needs to grow up now since he is married...

when ever they argue, he would stated to say "why cant you take me as i am??" then she said... i take you are who you are, but that doesn't mean i have to tolerate with your flaw when you know it is not right and refuses to change... and that would usually end up with a night that both of them sleeping in separate beds...

i am speechless of what to say to her... all i could do it lend her my shoulder and give her a hug....

damn it!!! stress out like madness

2010-03-25T08:20:00.000-07:00

o my goodness... should have taken the re sit papers like a year ago? fuck it!!! now it's damn shitty do or die mission... what can i say? there is only a few things that i could hope for right now

1. i hope i have 48 hours per day!!! i do not have enough time to do my revision!!! me and Justin has already seal the deal of not opening our Facebook from now on till the end of exam... i am damn stress that i am absolutely wasting my time on reckless activities!!

2. i wish the test is easy... i mean it's accounting, it's never my cup of tea, if u could replace it with a spontaneous presentation with NO preparation time, i will take it at all cost...

3. mali mali HOM!!! change me into a genius damn it!!! i could absorb what ever that i an reading in a split of seconds...

=.= i am just wishing to graduate from my diploma so i could proceed to degree with my beloved Justin and Desmond... it's not really too much to ask for isn't it? it's either i graduate from diploma and got approval for credit transfer for the one year degree program OR i will have to wait for 3 years to get what i could get

damn... just can't wait for exam to end (till then i will be so anxious about result releasing...) what a life people...

AWESOME!!!

2010-03-23T04:48:00.000-07:00

lately, i've been so stress up by work, by studies and also but other factors... i needed a break, i needed to have fun and it's been so long ever since i enjoy my self as much as i did today

first, me and justin rented a car for 2 hours, and it only cost us 17 bucks!!! well, we headed to wangsa walk and tadaa!!! i was the one who drove, because the car we rented is not automatic transmission... at first i was a little bit afraid, but after i got a hang of it, i felt like adrenaline rush pumping all over me... gotten all so excited and started laughing for no apparent reason while i drove and justin would have to actually calm me down... and i guess the other reason being for this occurrence is due to this is the very first time i drove without any supervision from my beloved papa =)but i have to clarify that having him around always makes me feel calm and guided... though he has said before i am steady enough, but it's not the time yet... i was at the brink of decision... to tell him or keep it away from it... because i was scared that i would be grounded once he found out about me driving without him, but fortunately, he said i did a great job and he is very happy and proud that i did it all by my self.

i also bought a dress, a purple colour one =) it's for Justin's brother's wedding <3 thought it was really nice and affordable for a dress that's so nice, so i decided to have it!!! i love the dress so much and it looks pretty nice on me too =)thanks honey for buying it for me.

looking forward, the path ahead me... so close yet so far... i really need to graduate, i do... i want to complete my degree as soon as possible so that i could work, and then i will be able to take care of my papa, i want to do something to repay him for what he has done for me all these years, and i know it's give back time, and he is the only one i left in my family whom i could dearly love... i love him so much is because he love me so unconditionally ever since i came to my understanding. i want to work hard so that i could have enough money to let him truly enjoy his life after all the tough time he has gone through in life. i wish i am older or he is younger... he is aging everyday and he is still having to worry in terms of financial provision. above all he deserves the very best after all the sacrifices that he made for this home... though it is saddening to see that mom is no longer here, both of my brother is not really spending time with him that makes me feel treasure, i want to be the one to tell him that he has been GREAT!!! papa, please stay strong and healthy, give me 3 years time i will give you a life that you deserve...

i love you, papa <3

Love of My Life part 2

2010-03-06T03:37:00.000-08:00

here i am in the cubicle of my office

all alone but not that lonely after all =p

reason being that i have one person in my heart

that would be able to light up my gloomy days

and put a smile on my face while tears shed down

thinking of the time we spent makes me miss you more

just can't help it but to smile to my self, silly silly

looking forward to accomodate every single moments of my life with you

for the time that we could spend, for a life that we could share

i love everything that you have done for me

giving so unconditionaly, without a signs of frustration

i am loving things that you do to me everytime

picking up my reckless call even though it was late

i know i will love anything in the future that's from you

as long as i know that you are there

i want! to take more sweet pictures with you

to tell the world about our love

to fill in the pages of the journal of our love

i want! to go places with you

to see things through each other's eyes

to learn cultures that's going to colour our lives

i want! to cry and laugh with you

to let you see me at my worst

to know that you then deserves me at my best

i want! to tell the whole world that we are in love

to get their blessing with this love we have

to share the joy of ours with them

i love my mimumi... my Justin Quah... my love

Ruby.Q

i am sick =(

2010-03-05T21:40:00.000-08:00

i am seriously sick. nose running, coughing, dizzy... but i still need to work, which i ABSOLUTELY do not mind at all... because i am just basically sitting here to eat, chit chat with Des, listening to songs... gossiping juicy stuff and that's basically what i am doing... taking a call once a while... getting paid hourly and i love my job!~

i am a little sad... LOL, nobody actually read my blog.. hahaha, the count of visitors in my blog is 43... and honestly, i log on to my own blog sometimes to get into Linxi's page, hence i might be the main contributor to the pathetic visitation of my blog.. this is funny and meanwhile, sarcastic.

result is coming out on Monday, i am really anxious, i could hardly get into sleep yesterday night because i am so worried about my result. it's not the money that i am concern, i am just worried that i might not have enough time to study for my subjects.. now i am already having 2 subjects that i need to re-sit... and these two is not to say simple piece of cake that you could easily pass it.. it's accounting that you are talking about!!!! and i fail my econs last sem, i would have to study 3 core subjects for re-sit which 3 of these are nevertheless TOUGH!! I MUST PASS i really want it so desperately!!! i want to graduate from my diploma with regardless of what it would takes. I want to get into Segi and graduate ASAP... I do not want my dad to wait anymore, i want him to enjoy what he rightfully deserves.

can i make a wish.. my CGPA is currently at 3.13... without taking the 2 subjects that i have failed... i am really hoping to get 3.40 and above during my graduation. but no pressure =) the result doesn't really tells who you are and what are you capable of. i am trying to learn to be happy, more carefree and worry less.. life is too short to be grumpy about.

Day out with THREE

2010-03-03T06:59:00.000-08:00

no no no... it's not B.Spears that kind of 3... it's just an outing with linxi, april and xiao zhi =p

it was great, i mean honestly, this is my first K session with my class mate after 2 years.. and i would want to say that april has a very nice voice =) it was fun

after that i went movie with my dad and honestly, since we've watch James Bond in JJ when i was young (many of you do not know that JJ in wangsa used to have cinema) this movie was the only movie we both watched together!!! enjoyed it very much, since it's a comedy and i think dod enjoyed it too... though at times it's a little ridiculous, but he still commented "well.. it's not bad..." and after that we went for dinner and i treated him dinner as well... i feel really awesome =D because i started to feel like i have the capability of taking care of him and this is what i want to do... and it is also the motive that i wish to graduate ASAP!!

and i think i got quite a good deal at Sasa too =) i went in and i was like... "i want something that is er... like a sun block, non greasy.."then she showed me sun block but i wanted something extra but i refused as well because the price was pretty "extra" too!! it was almost a hundred bucks!! then she suddenly pop out a question "have u tried BB cream before?" i was like "huh?" this BB cream is 4 in 1, whitening (i wish to be fairer), moisturizing (something extra is good), SPF 45 (sun block =D) and it's a foundation!! it's pretty awesome.. the price for it is 59.90 but after 20% discount it's only 48.00 =) so it's not bad

that is basically about my day... and i guess it will end with me pokering till mid night =) i like poker!!! it's a really nice game and you will never know till the very last moment and it sounds just like a thing call life <3

p/s: i wish u were there... again.. i am sorry =/

一人留

2010-03-02T06:41:00.000-08:00

this song touches me soul...

有一种深陷下去的感动
听着你的脆弱
并非无动于衷
我总是忘了怎么不挥霍
你辽阔的温柔
他现在比从前消瘦
可惜你的爱
我不能收
可惜你的手
我不能握
你别再累了
我想甩脱
三人游两人疚一人留
微微的深深的不能舍不得
淡淡的浓浓的都已不值得
你应得的不在我这
勇敢走下一段路口
会有人等候
比我更大方
给你更多快乐
用真心将你完成

有一种挥之不去的内疚
读着我的伤忧
读着你的难过
放开你无助安放的执着
好朋友依旧
不会就此擦肩而过
可惜你的爱
我不能收
可惜你的手
我不能握
你别再累了
我想甩脱
三人游两人疚一人留
微微的深深的不能舍不得
淡淡的浓浓的都已不值得
你应得的不在我这
勇敢走下一段路口
会有人等候
比我更大方
给你更多快乐
用真心将你完成

我知道我知道我知道
是因为是因为我的爱
我的爱在他身边总离不开~
我爱他就是离不开~

我想甩脱
三人游两人疚一人留
微微的深深的不能舍不得
淡淡的浓浓的都已不值得
你应得的不在我这
勇敢走下一段路口
想不到的会出现的
比我更大方
给你更多快乐
用真心将你完成
比我更大方
给你更多快乐
我期盼你能快乐

something in life that you wish to be undone

2010-02-25T00:20:00.001-08:00

life is too short to be hesitate about.... regrets is too stupid and once it's done, it could never be rewind...

Leong Kok Peng:

i miss you... i miss talking in the bus during the freaking long journey to KT during form 4 for our redang trip... i remember the stupid joke you told me about your name and gotten all influence about me being a player and shits...

i miss it when we went snorkeling and you telling me you bring your lego every where you go and it has a name... apparently everything on you has a name... your red, white black "bracelet", your Swatch watch and everything.... you were so serious telling me about them while we were floating in the sea after lunch

i miss you annoying me with a stupid everyday same sort of msg... "hey gal, how's your day"

i miss calling you while you basically need to whisper thru the phone because your father will kill you if he sees you talking on the phone... or when you are talking on the phone with me in your room, your grandma will be there...

i love going out with you because you always seems to have a problem with my attire and tease me with that and saying i should not wear this and that, we usually laugh our heads off...

i was pissed when i needed you by my side during my down time, you were always so busy with your stuff, and when you finally called me it was too late and i just start screwing you... though you ditched me on our date, but you still give stupid excuse like your phone din vibrate.. then you said you will make it up to me, saying that you will be expecting me at KLCC and you ended waiting for hours and i did not show up

i have something to tell you.... the msg in msn that sent saying i love you, it wasn't me... if it wasn't because of that stupid msg sent by my friend, we would not get into such mess and now maybe we are still keeping in touch with each other...

i miss you, i truly truly do... i miss talking to you... i am sorry that i treated you like crap... i love you so much as my friend, it just breaks me into pieces when you seems to vanish by not being contactable anymore...

can we go back to our usual silly form 4 self? though it's been 4 years, but i am still missing you...

just a random thought

2010-02-23T07:25:00.000-08:00

it's the start of a new semester, i can't really feel it because i have been working through out my holiday... thinking about what have i done just a year ago and comparing to what i have done... wow... it's really different...

last year:

i was so bored that i basically had to ask my dad to fetch me to library on a holiday to borrow some books to read to kill time when i was at home.

this year:

"welcome to Jetstar, this is Ruby, how can i help you..." saying this phrase for almost a hundred times a day, including Lunar New Year.. taking calls about their flight and having not many agents in the office... it was tiring, but at least i have got something to do... i realize i have make full use of my time and i am glad that i did

This semester is going to be really short and i have got a lot of things to do... such as clearing my subjects that i have been fearful for, but i am going to work things out... i have Thursday and Friday all for my self to study and i really want to give my best

SIX more weeks to go and i am done with TARC... i will not miss it a lot, because i made no friends there for me to be sad when it comes to separation.. i only got Des, which most probably going to same Uni as i am, if not we will be seeing each other every weekend during work... if not, he will be in my heart, cause true friends remains no matter how thing seems to change... just to let you know Des, i love you so much and thank you for being my friend...

Feeling like an outcast is no where near fun... one is telling me that she treats me like friend, but action speaks louder than word... i know you tried, but i am sad it didn't work out, it's not your fault if you are reading this, i appreciate your effort of making me feel less like a weirdo, but i am so sorry, there is nothing in common that i can find in me with the whole class... but you gave me the strongest feeling of a classmate, it makes me feel as though i exist rather than invisible in the eyes of the others... that means a lot to me to at least make me feel present... it's been fine being your acquaintance...

as for him, thank you for the time that we've spend, though it wasn't for long, but i enjoyed going out with you and i thought we could be friends, talking on the phone and so on... but it's just too bad that according to you, i am worthless to be friend with... this just prove that i am an outcast in my class and i have no friends that will make me feel a single sense of regret while i leave group four... you would never feel a thing when you was not even in at the first place... it's just like everyone else was in the theme park having heck of a great time, when they leave they just wish they could capture every moment they have spent together because it was fabulous, but those who stand outside of the gate, merely just staring in, will never feel a anything as she leaves... and yes, that's me

thank you for the unforgettable experience, even though it was not delighting, but at least it thought me a lesson... you do not need any friends that just wont even take time to understand you and then, judge you.. they will only make you feel miserable... friends take you at your worst, so that you would know that they deserve you at your best... this applies to you as well Irene and K.Y...

Irene - you are still a f**king bitch in my mind, this will never change and i wish that i could tell you in your face one day... but i don think you could take it as well as how i took your vomit on me during form 4

K.Y - just so you know, i was not mad at you leaving, what ever pleases you makes me happy as well, but i just hate they way you handle your self and leave shits for your friends to clear it up for you, apparently that's what friends are for.... in your dictionary

Cheers, for friendship!!! welcome to reality

The LoVe of My Life Part OnE

2010-02-08T08:19:00.000-08:00

looking out the window of the car, seeing the trees and houses passes one by one as the car move forward... it's obvious that the journey has brought you from one place to another... and i just kept staring into the window, and i just can't seems to get my thoughts off you.

Journey... an experience that you will encounter depending on which path you have chosen, every decision that you made placed you into a different scenario and which in turn... giving you a different consequences... i was telling him, i could never imagine how my life would be if i did not take up tuition at that center not to mention i felt like i was in the wrong place when i was there....

You will not fail to make me laugh every single moment we spend, even though it was over the silliest thing ever. You said that no one laugh at your jokes because they do not think it's funny and i seems to be the only weird one who laugh my heart out... and sometimes i almost forget how to breathe while i am just laughing at those jokes of yours so so so hardly... maybe making me feel breathless is what you are capable of and this is something that no one else could do

You never loss you patience with me when i ever i multi click a window when it's not working. even when i was losing my head and shouting seems to be the only thing i know in that tense up situation, you were cool... i would have to apologize for tearing few of your cloths when i was at the brink of falling apart, but you were always there to save me from losing it, and i know in the time to come, you will always be..

You remember my password for every of my account, my details and everything... i am sorry that i could not remember yours... but this does not prove i do not love you honey.... through out these years, you have thought me something... something really precious, and one of them is sometimes we just love each other in a different way but that doesn't mean we love each other lesser that another. you let me know that loving one person is to accept who they really are. and you told me, you missed the bubbly me that i once was... because of the crappy situation and the whole getting older thing got into me, the eventually took over me and they got their victory by snatching that positive attitude away from me. But thank God that He sent You to my life... let me tell you a secret... sometimes i think you are the gift from God after the departure of my late mother in order to show me love does exist...

You pull me through tough moments, you create happy times when we are together... it is no wonder that the thought of me urging to be sharing your last name as soon as i could keeps me insane!!! i wish it could happen right now!!! i know we are going to do very well, building a home where we could call our own, and when people step in, they could sense that love is in the air.. just like how i feel it when ever you are around...

Justin, i love you... you are the best thing in my life!!! through all these two and a half years of time, you loved me so unconditionally... making me feel like a princess all over again... and i know our love is going to last for more than half a century from now on... and i am looking forward to spend my time with the most lovely person in my life... i want to thank you for spoiling me =p thank you for your support even though i was being pure ridiculous...

Justin Quah... you are my everything... i love you... forever and always... love is a crazy thing isn't it... that's what you told me in your arms..

As the stars shine during this very night.. seal my love in your heart and bring it into your dreams... love: Ruby.Q

MONEY

2010-01-28T08:22:00.000-08:00

Let's talk about money, everyone loves money isn't it?

Why do we study? i mean as a student... just to get a better grade to make our parents happy... to have a future that could provide assurance... with a good grade you'll probably get a good job... well here goes... define good job???

could it be a job that could bring you joy... yea it is possible...

how about working so that you could get experience and learn new things... that's sweet...

but to be very honest... aren't you working for the sake of money... money is not everything, but admit it.. without money you are nothing

we work pretty hard for everything... in order to sustain a living in the competitive society now a days, it not easy... first and foremost money is hard to earn and i believe everyone agree with it, and on top you will have to pay all sorts of loan ranging from big to small... it's tough!!! i mean how we wish we do not have obligations... so that we could enjoy our lives to buy things that we like, go places we wish and spend time with our love ones ( you can't basically spend time without spending a cent.. )

are we earning to save or to spend? that's my question...

for my opinion... we have to do both, but it just depends on how much we side on... let's put it in percentage... i would say spending is 80 percent... don you call me a big spender... we need to survive with the basic needs and what is the point of saving so much as you would not even know what might happen tomorrow... with all the money you save yes you could prepare it for emergencies for any unexpected accidents of all sort.... and on top of that, you will feel more secure by having some money in your bank account...

back to spending... you need to eat, and shelter needs money... don tell me you are a cave men and you need not spend any money.... life is too short... if you have the money, spend it... do not think so much... enjoy it...

mama...

2010-01-22T05:06:00.000-08:00

i am so afraid that i feel like bursting out in tears... i can't bare to lose anyone anymore... i beg of you please

i am lonely, i am empty... i do not know who am i at times, i felt like I've been in the status quo for such a long time without even moving an inch... and there are things that i am not moving on about... it hurts when i think about it... i miss my mom

"i bet you all would forget about me after i am gone, maximum period of grief would be 3 years for you all isn't it?" this is what she said to me... but i insisted that she will always be in my heart... even though now it's the fifth year, but mom, just so you know... not many people moved on, they just tried to look for substitute to numb off the pain of losing you... i know dad is like that... mama... so am i

i might not know a lot back then, i was 15 when my mom passed away... her image sometimes is not so clear anymore... but i still remember the things we used to do together... even when i was back in kindergarten... she used to wait for me to come back... i miss her food... i miss her hug... i miss her scolding me and i miss everything we did together... i wish i was some one back then in form 3, so that i could know what's best for you so that you could live longer... mama... why do you have to go, you were such nice lady, you helped without asking anything back in return... papa is so lonely without you... how good if you are still alive, at least dad has a companion after his retirement, not like right now... he has basically no where to go and nothing to do

when ever i dream about you, i will only wake up in sorrow, because you were so real to me in my dream, that i even though that you have never left us... but when i am awake, it was all a dream... it hurts me and sometimes i even cry my self back to sleep

when i saw old lady on the street, it makes me think that if you are still alive, you would be that old, and you must be adorable.. i truly jealous those who has a mother by their side... how i wish mama you are here with us right now... maybe the living room now will be filled with noises from the TV, you and papa... and not the sound of keyboard in the room and all by my self at home and sobbing of my heart....

now papa is not at his best state, i know cholesterol is not that dangerous, every old folk will have it and i know it could not be taken lightly as well... but really, i wish papa good health, he is all i have left in this empty house after your absence mama.... pls bless papa from above and make sure he is fine so that i could repay him...

mama, i miss you... take care

I am doing this again

2010-01-20T03:46:00.000-08:00

i told my self, no TV no Internet and focus!!! because i wasted my whole day yesterday without finishing even one chapter of my revision.....

First, it was Business Stats, then Fundamentals of Accounting, Then Finance and lastly.... Business Econs... looks like almost every sem there must be a paper which i am going to run away from....

i felt like a coward, i despise my self....

When i flip through the tutorial which is made up by PYQ, there is none in there that i could confidently answer, if i could i would have been a genius... how could you thoroughly learn everything that is suppose to be learn in 14 weeks and understand it by just studying for one hour??? i blame no one, it is solely my fault that i did no revision....

I AM ESCAPING....

am i gonna bring this bad habit up to my degree? no i can't afford to do that!! it will ruin my future!!!!

Pls pls pls i beg of you.... study hard next sem... you will need to resit 3 subjects and take 2 of the others seriously... you must pass all in order to gradute....

Start studying FF during this sem break, revise acc twice a week and do econs revision!!!!!!

i hate my self

Rebel... this is the end

2010-01-15T03:50:00.000-08:00

If you know it is YOU that i am talking, you better leave because this is going to get UGLY!!

You better RUN... don you dare to lift your filthy head to see us again, for our gaze will only be anger and hatred, maybe you could just dug your head into the ground...

BETRAYED is how we felt from a bestie/family like you... well it is now all in past tense, you could just vanish from our sight, don worry about our mind, you've been long gone from there...

You claimed that you are mature? oh please!!! it was just so ironic you are the OTHER WAY ROUND... all the best growing up with your narrow point of view....

I just think you have never treated us as friends... You just USED us... feed on our sympathy towards you, well maybe you could just stay the way you are right now and get sympathy from people around you for being so pathetic....

Maybe there is still one last lesson for people like you to learn about, just treat this our last donation of mercy for you... DON YOU DARE SCREAMING AT PEOPLE WHEN YOU ARE WRONG!!!

All the best in your years to come, you hopeless greedy slug... (because you are just there to get that one month's money... may the provider see it as a give away to the beggar)

And and and!!! Do not go telling people we were friends, it is embarrassing...

Road to success

2010-01-04T20:36:00.000-08:00

To the one whom i deeply love... this is dedicated for you

life, is full of ups and downs...

opportunity.. would not knock twice on your door...

no one has promise life to be easy... it is indeed unfair

road to success is long but rewarding...

inspiration flows and i just remember those who made big bucks, living in mansion, driving expensive cars and living life of luxury... how awesome =D but have i told you it was never easy to become like them... i know i am just a kid, merely 20 years of span in this society.. but nevertheless, with the circumstances that i encountered... i was forced to think...

thoughts... no right or wrong, it's whether applicable for that particular individual or not... you might have the same recipe for one dish, but it might turn our to be different taste if it is cook by different person... maybe this explain why i was never good in art no matter how hard i try to look into the picture and imitate it... it turns out hideous... i have to admit

back to the main topic.. SUCCESS...

has anyone told you it was an easy way out? if your answer is YES... he or she is seriously bullshitting you...

has anyone told you riches just drop down from the sky? if your answer is YES... he must be dreaming and having his very own imaginative wealth...

there is no short cut in life... Jimmy Choo!! fabulous designer... he came from Penang and his family were in the shoe business for ages, he then went to U.K and study, he struggled real hard, working his ass off in part time to support his living expenses there... and he just doesn't pop to fame for the very first pair of shoe he made... there are failure and down turn in his career... if he gave up on that very spot with the challenges he faced... do you think there will still be Caucasians that go head over heels and drool over his shoe that cost thousands of dollar for a pair of them? Jimmy did not take the easy way out in life, he knows in order to success, he has to take the long whinny road, he took up what ever challenges that he needed to face... even though sometimes it means doing things that makes him feel tired and uncomfortable... he took it like a man, and now... he is the bomb!! his secret : keep trying and never fear of falling down

riches that drop from above? never in a thousand year, unless you are the one in a trillion that strike a big fat lottery and you can eat all you want for the next of your TEN lives... or you are doing something underground... but if you want riches in a righteous way, you have to earn it... we might think we are small and we do not have what it takes to be good... do not underestimate your self... you know uncle lim?? Genting's late boss...

he came all the way from China with one a few penny in pocket, but he has a dream, that is to live the impossible... building castle in the air... he went through so much, but he did it... i believe you have been to Genting, look at the buildings, the cable car... the utility... everything was so complete.. when you are in there, you totally forgot that actually you are in the middle of the jungle... uncle lim never thought that riches would fall from above... he work really hard for it!!! his secret : hard working and live the impossible

when you think you can no longer take it anymore... think of them... if you want to be successful in life... no one says it's easy... you have to be STRONG to take what may... life is short... it's not like making a movie, when it's bad, you just shout "NG" come again... you can't keep turning away from trouble, the only way to get rid of it it's not run, but defeat it...

the road to success is long... not everyone can complete it.. some may think it's too far and there is not end towards it... they gave up and turn back... where there were almost there...

my dear... it's your call... your choice to choose your road... but you know i will always stand beside you and give you my support... i love you... with all my heart... i really want the best for you because you deserve it...

I start to love...

2010-01-03T23:08:00.000-08:00

(sequence here does not determine my priority or exclusive likings.. all are equal)

My job...

Ha!! finally i am enjoying my job and time seems to fly.. I've learned so many things and all thanks to the super long Q when ever i go to work, thanks aussies for calling in!!!

i just love sitting there and picking up calls and speaking in various language from time to time, i love giggling about the confusion i brought my self on which language of welcoming note i should use to greet my customer... though sometimes i wish i could learn a lot more of variety in their communication other than the conversation that involves only about their flight... and i wish to pick up their accent =D

My Justin

Do not misunderstand, i love him already since the beginning of time, but i just realize that i love him more and more each day.. though sometimes he will do some silly things that upset me, but he is ever patient, loving and forgiving... don get me started... the list could just go on and on...

I am so thankful to have him in my life, basically.. his innocence wash away my weariness, make me smile on things that are so simple but some how i always missed it.. he made me realize so much... time spend with him FLIES and all those funny stuff will just come in out of no where...

to wrap this real long story of ours.. (even though it's only been 2 years ++) i feel like i am the most fortunate person on earth to have you... because you love me more than i love you, and i am 100 percent certain about this statement.

My Daddy

He is aging as the calendar shed it self from pages to pages.. but he remains so cute and i just love him so much... he love me unconditionally too... for me he changed so much... and for me he is willing to take the extra miles, i really do not know how to thank him enough... i wish i am as talented as Taylor Swift so that i could write a song about him and sing about it... but i am of cause happy with who i am today, because he's the on who brought me up and i am who i am because of his love...

Mom is no longer here, you are all I've got now... i wish you good health so that we could spend more time together... i love you papa

My brother - Eddy

thank you so much for fetching me back from Justin's place all the time... i truly appreciate it...

I

2009-12-14T07:22:00.000-08:00

i am disturbed... my heart is not at rest

i can't think straight and neither can i stay calm

i am lost at this very moment...

i am wishing upon a star out of millions of them

hoping one of them will lead and guide me out of the misery

i lost all my self esteem because with you guys i never seems welcome

i did not turn away from you all neither did i crave "stay out" on my head

i am just ordinary and all i ever needed is just genuine friends

i am not expecting you all to be my mate or bestie, but...

i do have feelings and you have no rights to discriminate that

i keep telling my self that it's just a few months more and coll will end

i recall this was what i told my self back then

i just could not help it but to believe my self is weird

i cried and i was depressed...

i do not even wish to turn out in front of all of you

i tried to escape, but i know that wont take me far

i feel so alone and helpless and so crappy about my self

i have to stop!! i cannot allow me to mistreat my self after what you all have done

i know i did nothing wrong, all along i treated friends well and sincerely

i must not let this take me away, i am not a bad person

it mights seems all selfish of me to start everything with "I", but YOU GUYS have left me nothing to be remember upon. i will try to get over it and will not let my self dwell in this negative thoughts of me being "all my fault" kind of mind set..

i can't change what you think and how you want to treat others, but i can choose my attitude, i can choose to ignore...

Are you mad at me

2009-11-21T01:07:00.000-08:00

fabulous...

went to linxi's place for sleep over 2 nights ago, was fun... and i realize that i could actually have home sick... how weird, i mean even if i am home, it's not like anyone would be home, then what am i missing?? hahaha, the weirdest thing of all, i crave for soft drinks!! i don know, i am like a freak.. i kept asking kent and linxi to go get it, if i am annoying, i am sorry... but with that only then i could feel a little more comfy.. it not only quench my thirst, it quenches my longingness for... home? i guess..

when we were all discussing about assignments, suddenly the topic mentions a little about you... i felt bad, coz i never have a chance to say i am sorry... hence i decided to text you so check whether r u mad at me, however no reply.. so i guess you were still piss about me... so i sent another msg saying that what ever it is now is good, i thought that will makes you happy... but i am not sure about that my self.

if you are reading, i just want to say i am sorry... i could be sort of a control freak at times, i could stress out due to some shits that no one wants to handle and just because i am a course rep i have to wrap up their crap... sometimes it might hurt you, i don know... but all i want is not enemy, who wants any enemy at all... i am here to say sorry if i ever hurt your feelings, but forgiveness is very subjective, i can't plead for it, it is very much up to you.. but on my behalf, i would still want to apologize..

however, thank you so much for fetching me when i really needed some one to, desperately... thx for texting... it's not that i do not want to reply you, it's just that i am busy with work....

enjoy the weekend =)

Robsessed... lol!!

2009-10-26T05:50:00.000-07:00

pretty face he got there isn't it? lol! i just do not know what kind of title i should put, and so happen i just finish watching twilight, so yea, handsome (hairy as well) and hunky (though he doesn't have packs like taylor), hair that always look good (i heard the media says he did not wash it) and so on... my gosh, i am laughing!! i mean, i can't compliment about him too much, or else i would really be robsessed...

sometimes, Malaysia government are just so unfair, they practically give professionals certificate like doctors, engineer or some sort for no reason!! hence some of the doctor are not even qualified! i went to a clinic and he suspects that i got stone =.= gava me pain killer even as i told him numerous times that i am not feeling anything. i then decided to get a second opinion from a qualified doctor at hospital, outcome = i am over stress (desmond... shh.. don tell anyone) and i got nothing close with what non sense kind of stones or shits like that... the price? RM 1.10 difference.. and how that clinic jack ass doctor dare to charge me RM 75.00 for that??!! i felt like it's the biggest con job ever.. maybe i should consider i donate it to charity... begger + bugger... =.=... even big hospital charge only RM 76.10 and that is inclusive of registration fees!! nevermind... as long as i know that i am fine...

fund raising and assignments... how could i not be stress?? well... have to pull through it... let's learn how to relax... take a deep breath... smile and cheers =) life is good isn't it?! i love life esp knowing that i am going to singapore soon with him!!

I am ordinary... I can't please everybody

2009-10-22T21:19:00.000-07:00

Leadership... to be frank, i crave for it last time. Maybe back then i was wanting attention and acknowledgement, but now i know it is not easy to have it and yet having others to respect you.

I honestly think those people in DMK will think I am a freak, i was mostly alone or with Desmond they all, and i seems to behave in my very own way, in such way that people wont even understand the reason behind my every move. But i can't blame then for looking at me in a weird way, it's just that they do not know who i really am inside of me. I always believe that I have a good heart and I treat my real friend right, maybe in the past i might not have a pretty good track record if you are referring me to the issue that happened between me, Irene and D'Bitch... But now i learned to less control freak, maybe i just care way way way too much for my friends and sometimes i cross the border and I am not even aware of it. I learned that everyone has their own thoughts and options, and I will try, I mean try really hard NOT to interfere other's life, including my Baby's. This not only burden me with unnecessary worries that's only going to shorten my life and drown me with anxiety, RUBY WONG!!! YOU HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO GET OUT OF THIS!!!!! I seems like i care too much?? o.O

Back to the leadership thing... Some said that I am over reacting and some more of the negative things that i will not fore-see or never know, I mean how could I know if I wasn't told? But there is one thing i learned today with my conversation with Chee Yeong, that is I must not be so hard on others when I am a leader, I can't enforce something on them in a hard way, because it will never work, it will fall like building castle with pile of sand... Persuasion will do the job, maybe it might not be certain, who could? Thing in the world are very subjective when it has nothing to do with calculation, especially when it comes to opinion. Maybe i should be less hard on them stop being so strict, it might be efficient, but it doesn't earn respect. I want to learn, learn to lead in such an impressive way that could own the hearts of my follower, and i believe only that you could be known as a leader who possess good leadership quality. I am no longer in Footprints, the place where leaders says it all, that will never work in the real world. Sum it all up : LESS STRICT AND BE MORE PERSUASIVE so that people will listen to you...

update!!

2009-10-18T09:26:00.000-07:00

It's been a week full of drama...

Let's start with the classical ones first, Adam Loh... the jackass of all ages, i had enough of you and finally i told you off!! i am so happy that i got nothing to do with you and you could have all your so call pride to go down to the tunnel coz i ain't listening to your crap any more!! i esp love the confrontation when i ask you to take care of your own ass and i have nothing to do with you anymore... you were like a moron with an open mouth, yet no words from you, wohoo!!

has a big arguement with my darling and i am so sorry for what ever happened. our arguement was actually about nothing, i am so stupid to lose it on you while i am feeling bad tempered, just wanna let you know you are the only one i want and love and i shall have no more than you. do worry, even if i have to work and study while you are persuing your degree, you will still have my heart, all we need is a little trust. it's not easy to sweep us away what we have established through the years that we are together and also more years to come of course. you became something that i could not live without, like the air that breathe.

i failed my on the road... fucking racist ass hole... i have to pay another 150 for this and i think it's stupid and ridiculous!! but i am not paying =p i made someone pay it for me, lol!! thank you and sorry justin =)

i subscribe P1 Wimax and now i could go online very often, blogging and doing assignments (i hope) lol.. but for sure it will be more convenience... least of all i am no longer staying in a cave with no connection.

Idiot Paul.. (i don know your first name) i am not disgustin but you are!! you are plain racist because i am an asian, but don forget, you are an asian too... don think you are from aus and it gives you the right to discriminate malaysian... FYI, your ancestors were prisoners of war as well...

tat's all for my week =) here we go week 3!!!

A man who loves you will not make you cry over his faults...

2009-09-30T00:20:00.000-07:00

Love, such a simple word, that brings everyone together and makes this world a place worth being in. When you are in love, everything around you is beatiful, it makes you feel like a baby being pampered, it makes you smile when you are alone thinking about those moments you spend together. You seems to laugh more and be more joyful when you are in love, you will be more like you self because you know that there is no need to cover...

For my case, he will do eveything in order to make me laugh, some silly acts of him, cute face that's so irrisitable and you can't help it but to give him a big kiss. He will be there everything i need him, without fail...

Love can really blind somebody up, like it or not... you world suddenly seems to be so limited and all you can see from the window of you heart is only him and him alone, everything you do you will count him in, nice things you would want to share with him, sad moments you just want him to lighten you up. Everything has it pro and cons, goods and flaws... and with this, i think i did not manage to see something very important out of this "sweet and innocent picture" out of my naive love...

Saying goes.."when you love a person, you love everything that's within him and around him"... i guess and thought i did a great job, but it turn out to be a false alarm and imaginative accomplishments.. i thought learning how to play a game which i think there is no aim or it is just not my cup of tea, would make us happier because this is the game he likes and maybe we could share more things in common... it was momentary.... i thought watching and catching up with the latest news of his fav. football team would makes us closer, even though i know nothing about football... how many players? no idea... how long is tha game conducted? no idea... what's the rules? no idea.... but i still pay attention... you want to know what seems to be the force behind all these? because i love him and i want to be part of his life, i would do what ever it takes to make our relationship stronger... bagging him to go for interview so that of he really got the job, we could work together and spend more time together, without needing to make up any excuses... Find and buy the book for you so you could read and be better... FYI, i wont get to improve as a person, if you become better, it's all YOURS!!!

My question is... why are you still making me cry over your silly mistake that others would not make... like what i said.. i get you OUT of trouble most of the time, but why are you getting me INTO shits??? i really have no idea how much tears i would have to shed to improve you, i do not know how many times do i have to get my heart broken so that you would learn and understand life in it's cruel nature and yet survive and live the best out of it...

Just so you know my dear, i love you, but i am tired... i shared you burden with you and make you grow.... how about my self?

just updating so this blog wont look abandon

2009-09-25T05:52:00.000-07:00

It's been one week of my pathetic sem break... not doing anything much, just go to work and all and well, my B's grandpa passed away.. though i so not know him well enough, but as what i heard from my B, he's been a good grandpa... well for me, since my mother's death, i know this is part of life and when it comes to it, i am still calm in handling because i have my perception about life and death, don get me started with that coz it's gonna be long and i am not in the mood because i am currently in CC... =.=

One more week of holiday, but i am gonna spend my time at work and license and stuff... well well... hope i find a way to enjoy it.

Shout out LOUD!!!

The promises...

Cameron Highland - I am Truly Vain

some one to love...

i am different and i am happy for who I am

an all over the place random updates for my 100th blog entries

The post about freedom, the post for unity

it is seriously not that serious after all..

累

how depressing~

Bitch Slap

Time FLIES!

this is going to be HILLARIOUS! ha!

11th day of the 1st month

BURLESQUE

BREAST!

all about love... at least for me

frustration... on love

how much i hate uncertainties

i was once your...

first for everything

serenity

stone age internet

it's going to be fantabulous!

O.M.G ! ! !

i'm only me when i am with you

detached

live life? or not

when all gather as one

art gallery trip

Brain Wash

true friends...

world cup 2010~~

i am getting older =.=

embrace the differences

did you earn it right?

i just do not care

am i weird of what.... nah, just SUPER RANDOM

Spoilers.... *don come running after me*

water or wine

X-MEN rally

real working life?

Graduation

another thing about me - workaholic

love... in a real or a fantasy way *vampires*

i am through with it...

i am just a mere human being...

sucks

Genting !!!

exam.... arghhh *puke*

looking out of the window

randomz

Purpose of my life

acne =( hate it

for those who love in a different way

love my guitar more than manicure

not anymore

Today.... 6/4/2010

Ethics in Malaysia

it's a dream that would never come true

It's good to catch up =)

damn it!!! stress out like madness

AWESOME!!!

Love of My Life part 2

i am sick =(

Day out with THREE

一人留

something in life that you wish to be undone

just a random thought

The LoVe of My Life Part OnE

MONEY

mama...

I am doing this again

Rebel... this is the end

Road to success

I start to love...

I

Are you mad at me

Robsessed... lol!!

I am ordinary... I can't please everybody

Spoilers.... don come running after me

love... in a real or a fantasy way vampires

exam.... arghhh puke